


Recollection

by detectivecaz



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Amnesia, Crime, Drama, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Older Woman/Younger Man, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6155229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/detectivecaz/pseuds/detectivecaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Memories are like jewels; each one is precious as the next. However, once those memories are taken away, what becomes of us. For Bond and M, they are about to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this story in 2014 and originally posted on Fanfiction.Net and have decided to cross-post on this site. I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Memories warm you from the inside. But they also tear you apart." ~ Haruki Murakami

* * *

M stood looking out of the window in her office, watching as the rain cascaded down the glass. It had been exactly one month since she had lost James. The guilt still sat heavily in her heart that she had sent him on that mission in the first place. She never gave up hope since she lost contact with him, that he would walk through her door with that insufferable grin on his face. The days turned into weeks and the weeks eventually turned into a month, she knew what she had feared. He wouldn't be returning to her, despite his promise that he would.  
  
"Ma'am."  
  
She turned to Tanner's hesitant voice and noticed him standing behind her with a few folders in his arms.  
  
"Yes, Tanner?"  
  
Tanner did not have to be psychic to know she was thinking about the loss of Bond. He couldn't believe it himself, he didn't want to believe it, but the fact of the matter was, he wasn't coming back no matter how much she wanted him to.  
  
"I have the files of agents who would be suitable candidates to fill the 007 post."  
  
M stood there knowing that she would have to replace him eventually, but it was still too soon.  
  
"Can't it wait a few more weeks, I've got enough files to be getting along with, without having to look at applicant files!" The excuse sounded pathetic even to her own ears.  
  
"M it's been a month, it's time you moved on. You can't keep going on like this. It isn't healthy."  
  
"You think I don't know that! I've tried to let him go, believe me, but it's not as easy as snapping your fingers."  
  
Tanner tried to avoid this confrontation with her as long as possible, but he couldn't stand to see the guilt eat away at her when she was just doing her job.  
  
"I know you cared for him, Ma'am, and that he meant a great deal to you, but do you think he would want you to go on like this?"  
  
She knew Tanner was right, but that didn't mean she had to like it.  
  
"What he would want me to do is no concern of yours!"  
  
"It is. Before he left, he asked me to look after you. Well, I intend to keep that promise Ma'am, whether you like it or not."  
  
"I can take care of myself! I suppose he told you we were lovers as well then did he?"  
  
Tanner stood there stunned.  
  
"I take it from the look on your face; you didn't! So now you understand why I'm finding it difficult to let go. If it were Eve, you would be acting the same way."  
  
"I had no idea. I mean I knew you cared for him. How long were you both together?"  
  
M sat down behind her desk and looked up to Tanner.  
  
"Two years tomorrow." She could feel a lump in the back of her throat, but she refused to allow her tears to fall in front of her chief of staff. She didn't need or want his pity.  
  
Tanner took his own seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. It all started to make sense as to why she was acting the way she was, and rightly so considering it was not only that someone was her agent, but someone who she had an intimate relationship with. He decided the files could wait, and regretted even mentioning them to her.  
  
"I apologise for my insensitivity, Ma'am. I'm here if you ever need to talk."  
  
"I appreciate that Tanner, and as for the apology, you didn't know."  
  
Tanner knew it was taking her all her willpower not to break down. He wondered who would be there to help her through her grief. She had no children from what he had gathered, and she had lost her husband four years ago. The only person, who could help her through this, was the one person who was causing her to grieve.  
  
"Why don't you come round to Eve's and mines tonight for dinner? It may do you good to get away from the office and your apartment for a few hours at least."  
  
"Thank you for the offer, but I wouldn't want to impose on you both."  
  
"Eve has just been as worried about you as I have. It will put her mind at ease knowing that you're doing okay, and I intend to keep that promise to Bond. Christ knows the man will probably come to haunt me if I don't."  
  
M gave her first real smile in weeks at the thought. It would probably be something James would do as well knowing him.  
  
"All right, I'll take you up on your offer, but only if Eve agrees as well. The last thing I want is to cause a tiff between you both."  
  
"She'll be fine with it, but I'll let you know her answer."  
  
Tanner stood up and made his way to the exit of her office, taking the files with him.  
  
"Tanner, you've forgotten to leave the files."  
  
Tanner looked down at the files in his arms and then turned around to look at M.  
  
"They can wait."  
  
She didn't have to say anything. Her eyes told him all that he needed to know.  
  
"Call me if you need anything Ma'am."  
  
"You're a good man Tanner. Eve is lucky to have you."  
  
Tanner gave her a small smile and left.  
  
Once she was sure her door was closed, she let the few tears that were building in her eyes to escape. Reaching into the top drawer of her desk, she brought out the photo frame that she kept there and traced the glass with her fingers.  
  
She gave a watery smile at the picture of the two of them smiling at the camera; the both of them were carefree without the worry of the job. James had her in a loving embrace, with his head resting on her shoulder. The thought of not feeling his arms around her again caused the dam to burst, and she had to bring a hand to her mouth to muffle her sobs. It was the first time since she lost him that she allowed her tears to flow.  
  
Her crying lasted a few moments, as she thought of everything that occurred between them in the last two years that they were together. From their first date to the first time they made love. The memories came like a whirlwind one after the other, flashing before her eyes. She finally managed to get her emotions under control and compose herself to her boss facade, staring once more lovingly at the picture then replacing it back in her desk drawer.  
  
One thing she learned from James was to trust her instincts, and her instincts and her heart were telling her that he was still alive. Until she saw his body, she would refuse to believe otherwise. If she had to carry out her own investigation to find him, then she would. Dead or alive, she would be bringing him home.


	2. Chapter 2

James awoke to find himself in a king size bed, his arms around the body of the woman next to him. The first rays of morning light shone through the blinds illuminating the room in a soft glow. But, something didn't feel right.  
  
Pulling himself into an upright position, he looked around the room, noticing that everything looked normal in his eyes at least.  
  
Hearing the woman stir next to him, he looked towards her. Her blue eyes caught his and she gave him a loving smile, which immediately turned to worry when she saw the confusion on his face.  
  
"James... what's wrong?"  
  
He knew the voice too well. The only problem was- he hadn't heard it in almost four years.  
  
Feeling the gentle touch of her hand on his arm, he quickly got out of the bed and turned to stare at the woman in disbelief.  
  
"How are you alive? This can't be real."  
  
"What do you mean how am I alive? You stopped Le Chiffre and retired from MI6 after we started a relationship."  
  
"We did, but that was four years ago! I put my trust in the wrong woman! You betrayed me then you killed yourself! So I'll ask you again, how are you alive!?"  
  
Vesper left the bed herself and made her way round to Bond.  
  
"James, you're scaring me. What's wrong with you?"  
  
He gave out an insane hollow laugh, "what's wrong with me? The fact that the woman who died years ago is currently standing in front of me with no explanation on how she manages to be here, and you're asking me what's wrong?!"  
  
His mind was racing; he needed the one person he trusted. He needed M. The name itself caused him to feel lighter and his heart race at the thought of her. He quickly looked around the room, feeling Vesper's eyes watching his every move.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm looking for my phone, and then I'm calling M."  
  
"Your old boss! What has she got to do with this?"  
  
"Less of the old and she has everything to do with this! You mean nothing to me!"  
  
"You don't mean that. Not after everything we've been through."  
  
James ignored the heartbreak in her voice. She was a good actress he'll give her that, but he won't be fooled by her false facade not again. He finally found his phone only to notice he had no signal.  
  
"James, come back to bed and I'll phone the doctor. You're clearly ill."  
  
He was about to reply when he held his head in pain, and the second set of voices both male reached his ears.  


/*\\*/*\

  
  
**Underground Laboratory - Siena, Italy**  
  
"How is our patient?"  
  
"He seems to be reacting well to the procedure. However, his current memories are too strong for the drug to be successful."  
  
He stopped the machine as the aging man looked at the unconscious form of their patient in the chair.  
  
"What memories do you have in that mind of yours?" He wondered aloud, before making a decision.  
  
"Increase the dosage!"  
  
"But Sir, a higher dosage hasn't been tested. It could kill him."  
  
"Do it! No doubt MI6 already think he is dead anyway. It will be a shame if he dies; he would be useful to us."  
  
The doctor did what he was told, as he took the syringe along with the serum, and increased the dosage to 25ml. Finding a vein in his arm, he injected the needle and pushed the plunger releasing more of the drug into his body.  
  
"Activate the machine to its fullest power, it's time our patient got some new modified memories."  
  
The doctor pressed a few buttons on the console, and the machine came back to life. Looking towards the monitor, he noticed the increased dosage had the desired effect. His current memories were no more.  
  
"It seems to have worked sir." He could hardly believe that his project was looking to be a success.  
  
"Excellent. Now, input everything from this file into the console. It's time we brought down MI6 from the inside out."  
  
The doctor took the file, and his eyes widened when he scanned the scenario that the document contained.  
  
"Problem Doctor?"  
  
The man shook his head and started to input everything contained in the document. He knew what they were doing was wrong, but he had worked hard on this development that he was determined to see it through right to the end. He had no idea what he had gotten himself into; all knew was if he followed orders, he was more likely to live to see another day.  


/*\\*/*\

  
**Bond's Mind**  
  
As soon as the voices had started, they suddenly stopped. He let out a relieved sigh and leaned into Vesper's touch.  
  
"I'm calling the doctor."  
  
"No!" He reached out to stop her from moving. "I'm fine; I don't know what came over me."  
  
She placed a kiss to her temple and held him close. "What made you think I was dead?"  
  
James had no idea. "It must have been a dream."  
  
"Come on. I'll make us breakfast."  
  
James felt Vesper's arms leave him as she made her way out of the room. He was confused as to what was happening to him. Maybe those blows to the head from his double-0 days were finally getting to him.  
  
Not dwelling on it any longer, he followed after Vesper looking forward to the day that they had planned ahead. Walking into the kitchen, he watched her movements as she moved around the kitchen, getting everything she needed. She looked beautiful as the sun reflected off her ivory skin and dark hair, and couldn't help but give a smile, before walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her waist placing small kisses on her neck.  
  
"Keep doing that James and you won't get any breakfast."  
  
"That would be a pity."  
  
She let out a moan as his hands traced over her breasts lightly squeezing them as he did so.  
  
"If you can behave until after breakfast, I may let you have dessert early." She turned her head sideways to look at him.  
  
"I think can manage that." He captured her lips in a deep kiss, his tongue exploring the soft, warm cavern of her mouth.  
  
He let out a moan as she pulled away. "Now, go and sit at the table and let me get on with making the breakfast."  
  
"Yes, Ma'am."  
  
He released her and moved over to the table and chairs, sitting down on one he continued to watch her. There were times he missed his job, but he couldn't deny he enjoyed his retired life, yet he couldn't help but feel that there was something missing, something big, but as soon as the thought came it was gone.  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
Vesper asked, walking over to the table with a tray in her hands and placed it on the table in front of him.  
  
"Nothing, just how I'm glad that I left my old life behind."  
  
"I'm glad you are happy with your decision James."  
  
"The pay was good, but..."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"Stay here!"  
  
Vesper perplexed at the seriousness in his tone, watched as he made his way over to the window. He looked up and noticed the various MI6 choppers heading in their direction. He wondered what they would be doing all the way out here, unless M sent them, as to why she would he had no idea.  
  
His eyes widened when the guns on the front of the chopper aimed at the house.  
  
"James, will you just tell me what's wrong!"  
  
No sooner had the words left her mouth; the sound of gunfire filled the air. He rushed to Vesper and pushed her down on the ground, with his body over hers. .  
  
"Are you all right?!" He shouted at her over the gunfire, looking down at her.  
  
She merely gave a nod too stunned to speak.  
  
"We need to get out of here. Stay with me and stay low."  
  
James looked for the quickest way out of the house, through the bullets that were destroying everything in their path. The gunfire suddenly stopped. Taking his chance, he grabbed Vesper from the floor, keeping low and quickly as they could, made their way into the bedroom. He wouldn't chance the front door; they would take the back way.  
  
Reaching the bedroom, James ran to the top drawer of the bedside cabinet and took out his gun, and placed it in the waistband of his trousers.  
  
"Who are they, James?"  
  
"MI6."  
  
Vesper stood there stunned. "Why are they attacking us?"  
  
"That I don't know. Come on, we're getting out of here."  
  
Making his over to the room window, he opened the veranda door, and looked around and saw the chopper still aimed at the front of the house. He was thankful there was only a small railing blocking their way. He quickly scooped up Vesper and lifted her over the railing before vaulting over it himself. The two of them started to run in the direction away from the house when they had to stop and pull back as they saw the agents in front of them.  
  
Pulling out his gun and undoing the safety he put a finger to his lips as a motion that she should remain quiet. Looking around the corner, he could make out two agents talking into their earpiece. Not thinking twice he aimed his gun and fired two shots each hitting their mark and sending a bullet through each of the agents skulls.  
  
Noticing his Aston, they start to run towards it. Smashing the window, he opens the door and all but pushes Vesper into the passenger seat, before making his way round to the drivers' side.  
  
"Do you have keys?" Her tone laced with worry and nervousness she looked out the window for signs of any other agents.  
  
"Who needs keys?"  
  
Vesper watched as he skillfully removed the steering column and pulled out the access panels free. Grabbing the wires, he quickly connected them and the car came to life.  
  
"Now you know why I prefer my cars to be older models." He gave her a cocky grin and put his foot on the pedal, and drove off just as six agents caught sight of them and started to open fire.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
James kept his eyes on the road, looking for any sign of MI6.  
  
"There's a town a few hours away. We'll head there. Hopefully, we will lose them, and we can go from there."  
  
"We need cash and clothes James. We can't exactly run around in our sleepwear."  
  
"Are you sure? Because I wouldn't mind you running around wearing that."  
  
His eyes, leaving the road for a split second to take in the sight of her short silk purple negligee that showed off her curves.  
  
"Yes, well, I would prefer not to stand out like a sore thumb James."  
  
"That's a pity, but you're right, we don't need the extra..."  
  
He stopped mid sentence as he heard the sound of the chopper following them getting closer with each passing second. James puts the car to the fullest it would go, hoping to widen the distance between them.  
  
"James! To your left!"  
  
James looks out of the corner of his eye and sees the gun aiming at them. He quickly swerved the car, just in time as the gunfire erupted around them.  
  
"They're starting to piss me off!"  
  
Swerving from side to side, he tried to avoid the bullets, a few ricocheting off the car. Reaching into the glove box with one hand, he pulled out a spare clip.  
  
"Take the wheel!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I said take the wheel!"  
  
Vesper not wasting any time does what she's told, as James removes the old clip replacing it with the new one and draws back the safety of the gun and rolls down the window, takes aim and starts to fire at the chopper.  
  
"You think that's going to do any damage?"  
  
James ignored her; he knew it would not cause any damage unless she had a better idea he did not see an alternative.  
  
"Probably not, but it's the best we have!"  
  
Vesper tried to keep the car on the road, swerving now and again to avoid them being hit by the bullets. She heard James curse and retook his position in the car, retaking the wheel. She held onto the dashboard as James quickly turned the car to prevent them from being hit.  
  
"We need to get off the road!" She was surprised at the calmness in her voice considering they could be killed at any moment.  
  
"You think!"  
  
She looked towards each side of the road for another route, her eyes widening when she saw a side road not even a mile in front of them, It was mostly covered with trees on either side, which they could use to their advantage.  
  
"James! Up ahead! Turn right!"  
  
No sooner were the words out her mouth, she felt a sharp pain in her head then there was only darkness.  
  
Not needing telling twice he quickly swerved to the right down the old dirt road, letting out a curse as a stray bullet hit one of the wheels causing James to fight to keep the car in control. He quickly looked over to Vesper to make sure she was all right, what he saw made his blood run cold.  
  
She slumped in her seat; her face directed towards him. Her blue eyes were wide open unseeing, a trail of blood ran down the side of her face from where the bullet had entered her skull instantly killing her.  
  
He was so focused on Vesper he didn't see the Black Rover behind him until it rammed into the back of the car, causing him to fly forward, making the car steer off to the right as he lost control of the wheel. He quickly looked up and noticed a black Audi heading towards him. He swerved the car to the left to avoid colliding with the unknown car.  
  
The sound of branches hitting the car filled his ears; all control was lost as the car now opted for a mind of its own, no matter how hard he tried to steer it. His eyes widened when he saw the tree in front of him. Seeing no alternative, he quickly slammed on the brakes trying to stop, it was no use. James braced himself as the car collided with the tree; the momentum caused him to smack his head off the wheel and the wind to be knocked out of him. He heard the sound of branches snapping close by, and tried to ignore the black spots that were in front of his eyes. He attempted to turn his head slightly towards the noise; the movement caused him to become dizzy, and he was struggling to keep his eyes open.  
  
Through the fog in his brain, he could make out a man in his late fifties. He struggled to hear what he was saying, his voice becoming fainter with each second his last thoughts were of the man and Vesper as he finally surrendered to the darkness.

/*\\*/*\  
  


**Underground Lab – Siena, Italy**  
  
"The scenario is complete, Sir and was a success." The man couldn't believe his project had worked.  
  
"Excellent, I think it's time we moved Mr Bond to more comfortable quarters don't you?"  
  
James had no idea how much time had passed when he finally awoke, now realising that he was no longer in the car, but rather in a hospital bed. Sitting up, he felt the room spin at the sudden movement. Taking a few deep breaths, he finally looked around at his surroundings, noticing the room he was in was more or less plain the walls cream in colour were bare. The sound of the door opening caused him to become alert as he saw the same man enter who he saw after the crash.  
  
"Finally awake, Mr Bond. How are you feeling?"  
  
"How do you know my name?" He regarded the man in front of him warily.  
  
"I know everything there is to know about you, Mr Bond; you see I have been watching you for some time. When my men heard that MI6 had been sent to kill you, I put a plan in motion to help. However, I feared I was too late when I discovered that you had crashed."  
  
"How long have I been out?"  
  
"A month, my medical team felt it was prudent to keep you sedated until your injuries healed. Before you ask, you're in one of my medical facilities."  
  
"Where's Vesper?"  
  
James watched as the man's face flashed with regret as he moved towards one of the seats beside his bed.  
  
"I'm afraid Vesper didn't make it. We found her in the car next to you with a bullet in her skull and various other injuries that occurred on impact due to the crash."  
  
The image of Vesper's lifeless eyes staring at him flashed before his own, and it took all of his willpower not to scream at the loss of the woman he loved, had hoped to spend the rest of his life with and raise a family.  
  
"I'm truly sorry for your loss, but I can help you."  
  
"Help me how? Unless you can resurrect the dead, there is nothing you have that I want." He told the stranger through gritted teeth.  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure of that. How would you feel about getting revenge on MI6? You can't tell me you don't want to avenge the death of the woman you loved. They should be held accountable for what they have done."  
  
James sat in silence, thinking over his words.  
  
"Not to mention you would have given your life for Queen and Country to protect their secrets, and this is how they repay you. If you join me I can help you; they also did the same to me. I lost my wife and two children to MI6 after M gave them orders to kill me, they were caught in the crossfire."  
  
James saw the flash of pain flicker in his eyes and his voice break, as he mentioned his wife and kids.  
  
"Let's say if I help you, what would you want me to do?"  
  
"Bring down MI6 from the inside out, starting with M. You were an agent, you stay in the shadows if anyone can do this operation it's you. Once we gain access to their information, we can expose them and bring them down once and for all."  
  
The more he heard, the more the idea was becoming more appealing.  
  
"And what about M? What do you want me to do with her?"  
  
"Question her for everything she knows, if she is uncooperative, bring her to me, and I will make sure she talks. Once I get the information I need we kill her. After all, it's her that calls the shots. Her agents may have killed Vesper, but it was M who pulled the trigger. Now, do you really want her to live knowing she is the reason that you've lost everything?"  
  
He kept seeing Vespers face in front of his mind, the image haunting him even as he closed his eyes. A few years back, he would have refused, but now he had nothing to lose.  
  
"All right, I'll help as long as I'm the one that gets to kill that cold hearted bitch no matter what happens."  
  
"I think that can be arranged, Mr Bond."  
  
He stood up and held out his hand for James to take to seal the deal. James quickly shook his hand before releasing it.  
  
"I'll have someone bring you some clothes, and then we can get straight to business. You won't regret this."  
  
James watched as the man turned and started to leave the room.  
  
"I didn't catch your name."  
  
The man stopped and turned, "You can call me Mr White." He told James giving him a smug smile.  
  
"Welcome to Quantum, James Bond."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Bond's brother, I have pictured Jeremy Renner for the role of Damien Garis.

 

* * *

M had no idea what had caused her to say yes to Tanner's offer of dinner when he had called her informing her that Eve was okay with the arrangements. Perhaps it was the loneliness she felt that had accumulated over the past month, ever since Bond's disappearance. She never realised until now, how much he had an impact on her life in the past two years of them being together.  
  
He had filled the void in her life, which had been empty since her husband's passing. Now Bond was gone as well; the same void had returned and she didn't think it would be going away anytime soon. At least, not until she found him. It was the not knowing that was getting to her, at least if she were informed he was dead, she could move on. It would be hard, but it wouldn't be the first time she had to go through the pain of losing someone she loved.  
  
She appreciated Tanner's offer, but she had wanted to be left alone. Yet, somehow she found herself standing on Tanner's doorstep as he unlocked the door and invited her inside.  
  
"Are you sure about this Tanner?" M asked him yet again, not wanting to intrude on his and Moneypenny's time together.  
  
"For the third time, it's fine M. Eve was more than happy to have you for dinner. She cares about you. And so do I. I like to consider you a friend M as well as a boss. We both do." Tanner told her sincerely closing the door behind him.  
  
"I would listen to Bill, M."  
  
M turned to see Eve standing in the hall giving her a smile. "Dinner is nearly ready; it's nothing fancy I'm afraid. I hope you like Penne Italiano."  
  
"That sounds lovely Eve." M gave her a smile.  
  
"Let me take your coat." Tanner offered.  
  
M let Tanner remove her coat, and followed after Eve into the living room. The house was slightly smaller than her own but had a warm, welcoming feel. The walls were covered in cream paper with a silver design and a few candles lit, creating a soothing atmosphere.  
  
"What can I get you to drink?"  
  
"Anything is fine Eve. You've already gone to enough trouble."  
  
"It's no trouble; we should have thought of it sooner. Is white wine okay?"  
  
"Wine would be lovely. Do you need a hand..."  
  
"No, sit and let us do the running around for a change."  
  
M was about to protest when Tanner joined them in the room. "I would listen to Eve; she can be bossy when she wants to be," He told M good-naturedly ignoring the scowl Eve sent his way.  
  
"Just for that remark you can get your own drink."  
  
"Going to send me to bed without dinner as well?" Tanner noted.  
  
"Keep this up, and you will be sleeping on the couch." Eve tried to hold back a smile, as she turned and left to get M her drink.  
  
"Like I said, bossy," Tanner told M.  
  
"I heard that," Eve called from the kitchen.  
  
"You were meant to!"  
  
M sat on the couch trying to hide her sadness, mulling over the fact that she would likely not have any more similar moments between herself and James. Not that she wasn't happy for the both of them, she was. But she was also slightly envious of their normalcy. She no longer had such a life. James was her normalcy and he was gone.  
  
Tanner turned to M, seeing her stare at the fireplace in front of her, no doubt thinking about James. He didn't know what to say which would help. She was M, always in control with her tough persona. Now she looked vulnerable. He could only imagine what she was going through. If he lost Eve, he didn't know how he would cope. She was his lifeline and it seemed James was M's.  
  
Taking a seat next to her on the couch, he realised they would have to tread carefully; he had wanted to take her mind of James, but it seemed it had the opposite effect as to what he had planned.  
  
"Before you ask Tanner, I'll be fine." M turned to look at him, knowing her Chief of Staff too well.  
  
"You know myself and Eve will be here should you need us."  
  
"I appreciate that Tanner. It will just take some time getting used to living on my own again."  
  
"I wasn't aware Bond had moved in M," Tanner replied a tad surprised with this new information.  
  
She gave him a sad smile, "If only you knew Tanner. He used to break into my apartment before we even were in a relationship."  
  
"How the hell did he get in?" Tanner asked bewildered.  
  
"Believe me; I  used to ask the same question. But then again it was James, how did he do half the things he did?"  
  
"There is that." Tanner had to agree with her on that point. He knew the stunts Bond pulled. It often made him wonder how the hell he managed to survive each mission. That was at least until his recent one. He hated to admit it but the chances of Bond returning to M were looking slim with each passing day.  
  
Hearing Eve's footsteps return into the room. Tanner watched as M put on a fake smile as she took the glass of white wine from the tray Eve had held out to her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome, M." Eve took the final glass and placed the empty tray on the table.  
  
"Where's mine?" Tanner asked.  
  
"Still in the bottle. I told you; you can get your own drink." Eve smiled sweetly, before taking a sip from her glass.  
  
Tanner narrowed his eyes at her before standing. "Fine, next time you want something, you can get it yourself." He walked towards the kitchen not looking at Eve.  
  
"The two of you seem to be happy." M tried to start a conversation, not used to seeing her secretary outside of work hours.  
  
"We have our moments, believe me. But, yes we're happy." Eve traced the rim of her glass with her finger.  
  
"What's on your mind, Eve?" M put her glass on the table, knowing something was bothering the younger woman.  
  
"I've been thinking about taking on a new position." Eve looked across at the older woman.  
  
"I see."  
  
"Not that I don't like being your secretary far from it, but..."  
  
"You want more than just to be sitting behind a desk?" M finished knowingly.  
  
"Yes." Eve sighed in relief that her boss understood. "I was thinking of training to become an agent, but I don't know how to break the news to Bill."  
  
"Eve, while I admire you thinking about a different career path, being an agent isn't for everyone. I know you know about the dangers this job entails having done several reports."  
  
"I do. But my choice still stands. If it doesn't work out and I don't pass the training I can go back to sitting behind a desk."  
  
M didn't know what to do with this new information; she had just lost James. Now she could be sending Eve out into the field and giving her orders. If she got killed it would fall back on her and Tanner would probably never forgive her for getting the woman he loved killed for the sake of Queen and Country.  
  
"Before you settle on a decision, you need to speak with Tanner. He loves you Eve, and you need to let him have his say on your decision. It will be hard for him, knowing I would be sending you into dangerous situations where you could be killed. I already lost someone I love, don't let Tanner go through the same."  
  
Eve mentally kicked herself; they were supposed to be taking M's mind from James, yet here she was discussing going out into the field. She was about to apologise when Tanner walked back into the room sensing the tense atmosphere.  
  
"I think the food is ready Eve; I 've already set the table."  
  
Eve looked away from M and turned to Tanner. "Okay, I'll just go and get it." She stood up and quickly left the room, Tanner watching her confused as to what had happened.  
  
"Have I missed something?"  
  
"You could say that." M picked up her glass, stood up and walked over to Tanner. "But it's not my place to say. Just promise me, you will hear Eve out before you say anything."  
  
"That seems like an ominous statement, but I promise." Tanner smiled. "Now, we had best get that food before Eve starts to complain that it's getting cold."  
  
"Quite." M looked at Tanner in amusement as he held his arm out for her to take. Sliding her own arm through his, she let Tanner guide them towards the dining room.

  
/*\\*/*\

  
**Quantum Hideout - Siena, Italy**  
  
Bond sat on the edge of the bed, mulling over everything White had told him. He felt anger and confusion. Anger that his ex-boss would go to such lengths to have him and Vesper killed, and confusion as to why she would have given the orders in the first place.  
  
All he had wanted was to live the rest of his life with the woman he loved without the hassle of the job, but the old bitch wouldn't even give him that. He wondered what had happened to Vesper's body. He needed to see her one last time. At least to tell her goodbye.  
  
Part of him wanted to kill M slowly for taking the one person who meant everything to him while the other part of him felt there was something unsettling about this whole situation. He tried to recall his memories of M, but there was nothing other than a hatred of wanting to kill her.  
  
The door to his room opened to see a man who couldn't be much older than himself step into the room, holding a set of clothes that were presumably for him.  
  
"White wants to see you in ten minutes." The man told Bond in a British accent.  
  
"And you are?" Bond watched the other man's every move as he set the clothes down on the bed next to him.  
  
"Damien Garis."  
  
"Did White recruit you as well?" Bond studied the man noticing his appearance was similar to his own.  
  
Damien looked at him as to what Bond could only describe as anger at the question. "In a way, he took me in when my own parents didn't want me. So, when I was old enough, he let me join. My surname was changed so that I wouldn't be traced back to White."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Meet me outside once you are ready and I'll take you to White and we can get down to business." He turned and walked back towards the door.  
  
"Who were your real parents?" Bond asked curiously.  
  
Damien stopped and turned to look back at Bond. "You want to know?"  
  
Bond gave a nod of his head, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."  
  
"My parents dropped me off at an orphanage and left me there. I was four when White took me in and treated me like his own flesh and blood. He was always there for me. Then the news came my real parents had been killed. It seemed that they got what they deserved for treating me the way they did. I believe my dear brother would have been eleven at the time of their deaths. Now, he knew how it felt to be an orphan." Damien gave Bond a smile. "I don't blame him of course, how was he to know that he had an unknown brother whose parents had dumped him as if he were trash."  
  
"Who is your brother?" Bond asked him through gritted teeth.  
  
"Now that came to be quite a surprise. One of which I'm sure you have already guessed by now. After all, you were the best MI6 had. M's loyal lapdog..."  
  
"Don't mention that old bitch's name in front of me!"  
  
"Well, well, it seems I've touched a nerve," Damien smirked, seeing the anger in Bond's face.  
  
"I need to hear it from you. Who is your brother?" Bond demanded.  
  
Damien's smirk grew wider until it had turned into a full-blown grin at hearing Bond's frustration. He walked back towards Bond until he was standing a few feet in front of him. His blue eyes deeply gazed into Bond's own as he gave his answer.  
  
"You."


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

 **Quantum Hideout - Siena, Italy**  
  
Bond didn't know what to make of this revelation, did M know about this part of his life as well and didn't tell him? He wouldn't have put it past her; it just made him wonder what else she had been hiding about his past from him.  
  
"Did she know?" He looked at Damien devoid of emotion.  
  
"Who?" He faked confusion. "Oh, you mean your little old woman. I would say she did. I mean she recruits agents so it's only logical that she knows everything about her little soldiers. White knows more than me. After all, he has been keeping tabs on her for some time. He still hadn't forgiven her for when she had him shot. A ruthless woman your boss..."  
  
"She's not my boss! Not anymore!"  
  
"Well then, you won't have much of a problem killing her, will you?" Damien challenged him.  
  
"No."  
  
"Good! You had best get ready. I'm sure White will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. I'll meet you outside, and then we can get down to business."  
  
Bond watched as he left him alone and looked at the charcoal suit next to him with black tie and white shirt. He had a lot of questions for White. He didn't trust Damien, not yet, even if he was his so called brother. If he remembered correctly, White had informed him that MI6 had killed his wife and kids, yet one of them was standing in front of him.  
  
Either White has lied to him, or his wife and kids were killed before he adopted Damien. It was logical, but he was left with more questions and he had a feeling White was the one who held the answers he needed.  
  
Standing up, he picked up the suit and quickly changed, noticing the fading bruises covering his torso. Ignoring them, he put on the suit, surprised at how well the suit seemed to fit him. Walking over to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror taking in his appearance. He noticed the dark circles under his eyes that looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks, despite White telling him he had been under sedation, to allow his body to heal. Between the circles under his eyes and the stubble along his jaw telling him he needed to shave, he couldn't help but think he looked like hell.  
  
The thought caused him to have a feeling of déjà vu, having a feeling he had been told that once before, but as quickly as it had come. It was gone. Gripping the sides of the sink, he tried searching his reflection for any recollection of who he once was before the accident. He had felt warmth and happiness then. Now, the eyes staring back at him were cold and ruthless. He had nothing more to lose. M had always ordered him to deal with any situation dispassionately, and he intended on doing just that. Once she was dead, he would finally be free.

/*\\*/*\

 **Eve and Tanner's Apartment, London**  
  
Eve and Tanner looked at M in worry as she hardly touched her food.  
  
"Is the food all right M?" Eve asked as she continued to watch M play with the pasta on the plate with her fork.  
  
M gave her an apologetic look and put down her fork. "It's lovely Eve. It's just that I'm not in the mood for food at the moment." She reassured.  
  
Tanner caught Eve's eye, as he subtly shook his head, signalling her not to question it.  
  
"It's perfectly fine, M," Eve told her deciding to try to and lighten the mood. "I thought my cooking was bad and Bill was just eating it for the sake of it."  
  
M looked over at the man in question noticing his plate, was, in fact, empty. "You're cooking is fine Eve, besides I'm sure Tanner would still eat it if it wasn't."  
  
"Excuse me?" He pointed his fork at M jokingly. "I'll have you know, that I only eat the best food there is."  
  
"I don't recall McDonald's being the best there is Tanner." M cracked a small smile at seeing her Chief of Staff flustered.  
  
"I was hungry at the time M, and the closest food place was McDonald's. If it were any other time, I wouldn't have set foot in the place."  
  
Eve grinned, "I remember that day, three double cheeseburgers and large fries. I don't remember you complaining while you scoffed the lot."  
  
"As I said I was hungry. What is this? Girlfriend and boss gang up on Tanner day?" He looked at both women unamused.  
  
Eve stood up and picked up M's plate, placing it on top of her own, before reaching over to take Tanner's. "I had better take this in case you decide to eat the plate as well."  
  
"It just shows I love your cooking Eve."  
  
She gave him a calculating look. "I take it you want dessert as well?"  
  
"Do you even have to ask?"  
  
Eve rolled her eyes, "Would you like any M? It's lemon cheesecake."  
  
"I'll pass, Eve."  
  
"Okay, I'll be back in a moment, feel free to sit in the living room."  
  
M watched as Tanner kept his eyes on Eve as she left the room, happy he had found someone. She hoped he would heed her earlier words about Eve's new choice of career.  
  
"Shall we go?" Tanner asked standing up.  
  
"I thought you wanted dessert?"  
  
"I do, but these seats are killer." He gave a small stretch trying to get rid of the tension he felt in his back.  
  
She had to agree with him, even if the table and chairs were lovely designed, they weren't exactly comfortable. Heading into the living room M sat on the sofa while Tanner took a seat on the chair as they waited for Eve to return with Tanner's cheesecake.  
  
"M, I wanted to ask you something. It's probably none of my business..."  
  
"What is it, Tanner?" M asked softly.  
  
"You said you and Bond would have been together two years tomorrow in your office earlier. How did the two of you exactly come to be in a relationship?"  
  
M looked down at her lap having expecting this question since she had mentioned it. Now she didn't know how to proceed. She had always liked her private life to be private but considered Tanner a friend after their years of working together.  
  
"I'll explain when Eve comes in; I would rather only go through it once." M looked over to him hoping he would understand.  
  
"There's no rush; M. Just take your time," Tanner reassured her.  
  
"Thank you, Tanner."  
  
A few minutes later, Eve returned with a small plate containing Tanner's cheesecake. As he reached out for it, Eve pulled it back towards her.  
  
"Don't scoff it all at once."  
  
"Yes, mum." He agreed sarcastically.  
  
Eve smiled and handed it over to him and took a seat on the arm of the chair next to him.  
  
"Now that you are here Eve, I can make a start."  
  
"Start?" Eve looked at M and Tanner waiting for one of them to elaborate.  
  
"I asked M how she and Bond came to be in a relationship," He informed her before taking another bite of cake.  
  
"I suspected there was something between the both of you, but I didn't know you were together until Bill told me."  
  
"It's the way, we both wanted it. If anyone found out, well you can imagine."  
  
Eve knew what she meant. It was only her and James who knew about her relationship with Bill, and she planned to keep it that way. She watched as M tried to collect herself before she started to speak.  
  
"You both have known me long enough to know I'm a private person, and I don't like to discuss my life with anyone. The only reason I'm telling both of you, this is because I trust you not to tell anyone what you heard." She watched as both gave a nod of their head in agreement.  
  
"Very well, I won't bore you with all the details so I will keep it brief." She took a deep breath trying to decide on how much she should tell them. She would be bypassing their make out session that was a given. But, that wouldn't stop her thinking about it.  
  
She heard Eve give a polite cough, breaking her out of her thoughts.  
  
"You don't need to tell us..."  
  
"It's fine Eve," She reassured the younger woman. If she didn't start now, she never would. A few more seconds had passed before she began.  
  
"It started after we arrested Yusef Kabira in Russia..."

/*\\*/*\

 **Kazan, Russia - 2008**  
  
M felt a chill go through her as the snow started to grow heavier. She looked up at Bond, waiting for him to at least look at her.  
  
"Congratulations, you were right," he told her his voice devoid of any emotion.  
  
The comment caused her to become confused, "about what?"  
  
"About Vesper." He finally looked at her, his eyes softening as he saw another shiver go through her.  
  
"She did love you, Bond, regardless of the way she played you."  
  
"Perhaps, but this mission gave me time to think about the relationship I had with her."  
  
"And... what was your conclusion?"  
  
He gave her a sad smile. "I didn't love her. I thought I did, but I realised my feelings and heart belonged to someone else."  
  
M narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out who the mystery person he was talking about wondering if she knew them. Just as she was about to ask, she heard him murmur a quite 'Ma'am' before he started to walk away, dropping Vesper's necklace in the snow. She tried to think of something to make him stop, and surprised herself by the words that came out her mouth.  
  
"Bond... I need you back." She watched as he stopped and turned giving her a smile.  
  
"I never left."  
  
She felt her heart pounding in her chest as another shiver goes through her. Seeing him walk back towards her. She tried not to jump as she felt one of his arms go around her shoulders once he was next to her.  
  
"What are you doing out here M?"  
  
"Making sure you follow orders for once," She answered surprised at how steady her voice was.  
  
"At the expense of catching hypothermia?" He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"It's only a bit of snow. Unless you think, I'm too old to handle it?"  
  
He sensed the defensive tone in her voice, as she tried to move away from him, which only caused him to pull her smaller frame closer to him.  
  
"It's nothing to do with age M. Your jacket isn't exactly suitable for Russian weather," He stated the obvious. "Come on, let's get you someplace warm."  
  
She let him guide her to one of the nearest cars and held the passenger door open for her, motioning for her to get in. Giving him an unimpressed look, she finally gave in as Bond joined her in the driver's seat a few seconds later. Putting the key in the ignition, he started the car and turned on the heater.  
  
"Where are we going?" She rubbed her hands in front of her trying to get them warm.  
  
"The safe house. There is something I need to discuss with you M, and I would rather do it some place where I know you won't freeze."  
  
"Is this about your mystery woman by any chance?"  
  
"In a manner of speaking." He truthfully told her as he started to drive them towards the safe house.  
  
M felt herself slowly starting to heat up as she looked out into the darkness trying to figure out who this woman was. She had a feeling she already knew. She just hoped it didn't interfere with their jobs.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Bond pulled into the Range Rover into the safe house and turned off the engine. Exiting the car, Bond placed his hand on the base of M's back as walked down the garage corridor until they reached the steel door. Bond entered the codes and ushered M inside once it was open.  
  
Turning on the lights, M approached the couch and took a seat, keeping her coat on as she watched Bond start a fire. She made a mental note to have them input a central heating system; God knows when the last time this safe house was used.  
  
A few moments passed when she felt the heat of the fire starting to warm her up. Giving Bond a look of gratitude, she removed her coat and placed it on the arm of the chair. "So... this mystery woman, Bond." She turned to look fully at him. "Care to elaborate, though I think I can already guess who it is."  
  
Bond gave her a smirk, "really? And who do you think it is?" He asked removing his coat before taking a seat on the couch next to her, waiting for her answer.  
  
"Moneypenny."  
  
Bond bowed his head trying to muffle his laughter, but his shaking shoulders gave him away.  
  
"This isn't a laughing matter Bond. Personal relationships with co-workers are prohibited. I trust you are aware of this?"  
  
After a few minutes, he got his laughter under control and looked at her. "M, it's not Moneypenny. I admit I flirt with her, but that's all it is. She is more interested in a relationship with Tanner than with me."  
  
"I see." M narrowed her eyes. "Then do enlighten me on who it is."  
  
His face became serious as he gazed into her eyes. "It's you."  
  
M sat stunned not knowing how to respond to his admission. He could not be serious. The idea was laughable. Yet, his eyes told a different story.  
  
"Bond, I think you have had one too many knocks to the head. What can you possibly see in me? I'm your boss, nothing more. And, don't get me started on my age, I could pass as your grandmother for Christ sake."  
  
" Do you think I care about that? Age is irrelevant to me M; you've always been beautiful even more so as you have got older."  
  
"And how can you possibly know that?" She inquired before realisation dawned on her. "You've been looking through my file again haven't you?"  
  
"Perhaps, but I also found photos of when you were younger when I first broke into your house" He admitted.  
  
She couldn't help but scoff at that remark. "why am I not surprised?"  
  
Reaching out, he took one of her hands in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze in reassurance "I care about you M, it took this mission to realise that... my feelings for you run deeper than that of boss and agent." He held her gaze, wanting her to know he meant every word of what he was telling her.  
  
"Bond- I think you're confusing your feelings..."  
  
"I'm not, believe me." He cut her off. "You helped me through the ordeal with Vesper, never gave up on me when you had every right too. I disobeyed every direct order you gave me and yet you still defended me. Why?"  
  
"Because I knew you were you. I'll tell you what I told Tanner after you left the hotel. You're my agent, and I trust you. And it seems my instincts paid off in the end. You managed to get us the information we needed on White and Quantum. You did your job. Even though, your methods were questionable." She tried to suppress a smile.  
  
"Yes, well next time I'll try and not let myself be clouded by revenge."  
  
"You told me back at the safe house in Italy; you weren't motivated by revenge." M's voice held confusion.  
  
"Yes, and you also told me a few minutes before, that someone would be a pretty cold bastard if they didn't want revenge for someone they loved. And you were right. I didn't want revenge for Vesper. But when you were almost killed, I lost it. They nearly took you from me M. I couldn't let that slide."  
  
She licked her lips, feeling her mouth become dry not knowing how to deal with this situation. She looked away from and down at their hands noticing they had become entwined, without her realising it.  
  
She should pull away and walk away from this, but she didn't want to, which was making her start to question her sanity.  
  
"What do you want from me?" It was a simple enough question, yet she couldn't help but fear his answer.  
  
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you M. You mean more to me than this job."  
  
She turned to look back at him in disbelief. "This job is your life Bond, what would you do without it? "  
  
"You can assign me to another organisation..."  
  
"Not a bloody chance, you're the best agent MI6 has. If you think I'm giving you to another agency, you can bloody well think again."  
  
"Then I'll take an early retirement," He told her seriously.  
  
"Be reasonable! You are going to throw away everything you've worked for, just to be with me!?" She asked incredulously. "I'm not worth it Bond! Besides, who knows how long I have left."  
  
"Don't talk like that..."  
  
"Why? It's the truth and we both know it. If this ever came to anything, you would be distracted and we both know the outcome when that happens."  
  
Bond knew she was right, but it was a chance he was willing to take. "You've said it yourself M; you don't know how long you have left. Is it not worth the risk to enjoy what time you have left?"  
  
She looked away from him, knowing if she kept her attention on him. Her defences would crumble, and then where would that leave her. She always liked to think she was immune to 'the James Bond charm', but right now, that was proving difficult.  
  
"M, please- look at me." When she didn't look at him, he reached out his free hand and cupped her face causing her to jump slightly as she finally looked at him. "And the same goes for me. Double-0's have a short life expectancy M. It's mere luck I'm still alive." He softly caressed her cheek with the pad of his thumb. " I would rather spend the days I do have left with you, rather than being alone."  
  
"I trust you in the field Bond, but I don't know if I can trust you with a relationship or my heart. Not to mention it's against every protocol in the book..."  
  
"No one has to know unless you tell them. We'll do this on your terms M, but I do have one request."  
  
"Which is?" She narrowed her eyes.  
  
"I can take you on a date. After that, if you don't want a relationship between us, then we won't speak of it again." He promised her. "You're not a mark to me M; you are so much more than that. If it takes me months to prove that, then so be it."  
  
Bond waited for her answer hoping she would agree to his request. He would respect her decision. It would hurt, but the last thing he would do is force her into something she didn't want.  
  
"If we are laying everything on the table here Bond..."  
  
"Yes?" He waited patiently for her to continue.  
  
"When I met you in the hotel corridor in Bolivia- after you took out those agents..."  
  
"You felt as if everything had disappeared around you, as cliché as it sounds." He smiled knowingly seeing the disbelief on her face.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Because it took all my willpower not to kiss you right there. I knew I had to leave, not because of the capture and kill order, but because I would no longer be responsible for my actions."  
  
"It was a good thing you did." She softly told him. "And as to your request, I have some ground rules."  
  
"I wouldn't expect anything less." He smiled.  
  
"Firstly, we never speak about us at headquarters, any issues related to this relationship, keep it until after we are away from the building. Secondly, I'm not some cheap date Bond and I won't sleep with you after the first."  
  
"I already gathered that M, as I say we do this on your terms."  
  
"Yes, but it takes two to make a relationship to work Bond. Do you have any terms of your own?"  
  
"The date as I already asked you, which you have yet to give me an answer."  
  
M gave a nod, "Anything else?"  
  
"I was hoping for a kiss to seal the deal." He traced her bottom lip with his thumb as he gazed into her eyes waiting for her answer.  
  
M thought about his request. It was simple enough as long as it was quick. The last thing she needed was for someone to catch them.  
  
"Very well, one kiss. But you had best make it quick." She told him in warning.  
  
"I think I can manage that."  
  
She smiled at the genuine note in his voice, as their faces were inches apart and M felt all train of thought leave her as he leant down and captured her mouth in a light kiss as if he was testing her. She felt her body gradually relax as she pulled her hand from his and wrapped it around his neck, as his own wrapped around her waist pulling her closer to him. Feeling his tongue trace her bottom lip, Olivia felt a shiver of pleasure go through her. She couldn't stop the moan that escaped her as his tongue explored her mouth. She let her eyes close, getting lost in the sensation. She couldn't remember the last time she felt such passion, as she responded ardently to his kiss.  
  
Leaning back on the couch, Olivia pulled Bond with her, feeling his chest flush against hers as the kiss gained passion. All train of thought left her as James started to trail kisses along the curve of her jaw, as she lifted her chin to offer her throat. Her hand trailed up his back, until she reached his neck, then wove her fingers through his hair, never encouraging, just leaving him to continue his slow pace. She could feel his arousal on her inner thigh and knew she had to put a stop to this before it went any further.  
  
"Bond, we need to stop," She told him breathless, opening her eyes, as his lips left her neck. His eyes found hers as he looked down at her, knowing she was right. He wanted her, but he knew she was far from ready for an intimate relationship just yet.

"I'm sorry M; I shouldn't have let it go that far."  
  
"In case you may have forgotten Bond, I'm just at fault." She gave a small smile, her lips still tingling from his kiss.  
  
"I take it you agree to that date?" He asked hoping she said yes.  
  
"Yes, but only if you delete the CCTV footage from the past few moments."  
  
"Consider it done." He gave her a smile and pressed one last kiss to her lips.

/*\\*/*\

 **Eve and Tanner's apartment, Present Day**  
  
M tried to hide her smile at seeing Eve sitting on Tanner's lap, his arm tightened around her waist, as they stared at her stunned after hearing what she had just told them.  
  
"After the first date, our relationship grew, he made me safe and loved. But he also brought happiness back into my life. That's all you need to know."  
  
"He was going to give up his career? I knew he felt something for you, but I never realised how deep it went." Eve told her.  
  
"It came quite a shock to me at first as well," M admitted.  
  
"I can just imagine your face when he told you. He loved you. And we'll help you find him M." Tanner promised.  
  
"I can't let you both risk your careers..."  
  
"He was our colleague as well as a friend. I'm sure Q would be more than happy to help as well. Bond may have annoyed the old man, but Q was fond of him." Tanner stated the obvious.  
  
"There is a slight problem with that theory Tanner. Q is retired and I've yet to find a decent replacement."  
  
"Like that would stop him M. He was just as fond of you as he was of Bond. I'll contact him tomorrow for you." Tanner reassured her.  
  
"Very well." M agreed, knowing she could use all the help she could get. She looked at the clock on the fireplace mantle seeing it was going on ten; she had stayed longer than she had planned.  
  
Tanner caught her looking at the clock noticing it was just leaving ten o'clock.  
  
"I can take you home M if that's what you would prefer."  
  
"Thank you, Tanner. I would appreciate it. "  
  
The three of them stood up, as Tanner left to get M her coat. Once he had left, M turned to Eve. "Remember what I told you, hear Tanner out once you have told him your decision."  
  
She watched as Eve gave a nod of her head. "He'll understand more than you think, it may take him a while to come around, but he will support your decision."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
M gave her a smile. "He loves you. If you pass the training, which I have no doubt, you will. You follow my orders and come back alive. Not only for Tanner's sake but also mine."  
  
Eve looked at her waiting for her to elaborate.  
  
"Tanner is not the only one that cares about you, Eve. I consider you a close friend, don't make me go through the loss of James only for Tanner and me to mourn you as well."  
  
Eve felt a lump at the back of her throat that she tried to ignore. "I promise M."  
  
M gave a nod, "let me know how you get on. If you need me, just call."  
  
Eve gave a nod, as Tanner walked back into the room. "Are you ready M?"  
  
"Yes." M gave Eve one last look and walked over to Tanner, who helped her with her coat.  
  
"Thank you for tonight," M told them both in gratitude.  
  
"Anytime M," Eve told her.  
  
"I won't be long," Tanner informed Eve.  
  
"Drive safely."  
  
"Don't I always." Tanner gave her a subtle wink.  
  
Eve watched them go, hearing the front door close as she turned to look around at the empty room. She hoped Tanner would be as understanding as M had told her because she didn't want to lose him over her choice of job.  
  
Picking up Tanner's plate from the table, she walked back into the kitchen to make a start on the dishes. She recalled James telling her more than once that M was always right. He had trusted her with everything he had and she knew she could do the same. If anyone knew Tanner better than her, it was M.


	5. Chapter 5

**Quantum Hideout - Siena, Italy**

Bond walked next to Damien through the compound, wondering exactly where they were. It was only the two of them in the corridor, the sound of their footsteps echoing around them. Bond tried not to show his disgust at the walls, which were painted sand yellow. The lighting, making the colour brighter than it probably already was. They had only passed three doors, yet Bond couldn't help but wonder what White was keeping behind them.

As they walked further down the corridor, the colours were starting to make him feel nauseous. Whoever White had as an interior decorator should be shot and buried.  
  
Trying to ignore the monstrosity around him, he instead focused his attention on his brother, who had yet to say anything to him since they had left his medical room.

He took the time to study the other man properly.

There wasn't much difference in their physical appearance. They both had cerulean eyes, they were the same height and build, the only difference was their hair. Damien's was light brown, while he was blond. Other than that, he had no doubt in his mind that he was related to him.  
  
While he preferred his suits, it seemed Damien preferred the casual look as he took in the dark blue Jeans, boots, and a plain grey fitted T-shirt, that showed off his upper body muscle, that would give even him a run for his money.  
  
"Are you just going to stare at me the entire way there?" Damien asked in both amusement and annoyance.  
  
Bond didn't answer him but instead decided to use this chance to get to know him better.

"Tell me a bit about yourself."  
  
Damien gave a scoff. "Just because I'm your brother, and we are on the same side, doesn't mean I want anything to do with you." He stopped and turned to look at Bond. "I don't trust you."  
  
"White doesn't seem to have a problem with trust." Bond challenged him.  
  
"You based that on what? A five-minute conversation he had with you. I'll tell you something Bond, you have to earn White's trust, and until you do that, you had best watch your back." Damien threatened before walking away from him.  
  
Bond turned to watch him, before following after him. "And what do I do to earn his trust?" He asked once he had caught up with him.  
  
"You will find out soon enough."  
  
They came to a winding staircase, both climbing to the second floor before they came to another corridor similar to the one they were just in.  
  
"You may want to tell White to get a new decorator." Bond murmured.  
  
Damien chuckled, "Believe me, I told him the colours were awful, but he didn't listen."  
  
As they turned the corridor, Bond noticed the white double doors in front of him.

"Let me guess, White's office?"  
  
"What gave it away?" Damien asked sarcastically.  
  
They stopped outside the double doors causing Bond to wonder what Damien was waiting for.

"Look, if you want to know about me, I'll tell you when I'm ready. No doubt you will hear most of it in there from White, but what he doesn't tell you, you are going to have to wait for those answers from me."  
  
"All right, we'll do it on your terms."  
  
No sooner had he said the words he felt a stabbing pain in his head, causing him to grind his teeth to prevent him screaming out in agony. He saw himself in an old room, with a fire burning next to him, as he sat talking to someone. He couldn't make out who it was, even though the female voice seemed familiar. As quickly as it had come it was gone and replaced with a more urgent masculine one.  
  
"Bond, look at me!"  
  
He felt hands on his arms, as he looked over at Damien, feeling the pain lessen as his brother continued to talk to him until it had disappeared completely.  
  
"Are you all right?" He asked in worry.  
  
"I'm fine, was just a headache." He tried to gather his bearings. "Probably the lights in this place."  
  
Damien narrowed his eyes; he would need to talk to White about what had just occurred. If Bond's old memories were coming back, it could cause countless problems for all of them.  
  
"I've had a few of those myself." He lied. "You ready?"  
  
Bond gave a nod as Damien opened the door and motioned Bond inside. Upon entering, he took in the large room; thankfully there was no sand yellow in sight. It was more to his tastes, spacious and modern with a few paintings on the wall.  
  
"Mr. Bond, glad you could finally join me."  
  
He turned to the sound of Whites voice seeing him walk out of an adjoining side room, a welcoming smile on his face.  
  
"I trust Damien gave you no trouble?" White looked over at the man in question.  
  
"No, but I have questions that I need answers to."  
  
"Of course, we can discuss it once you have eaten. One of my chefs is preparing a meal for you." He looked over Bond's shoulder. "Damien, see if Mr. Bond's meal is nearly ready."  
  
Damien gave White a scowl and left to do what he was asked while mumbling something incoherent under his breath.  
  
"I take it you are aware he is your brother?" White asked once Damien had left.  
  
"He might have mentioned it. What I want to know is why I wasn't bloody told? Did she know?"  
  
"By _'she'_ I guess you mean M?" White turned away from Bond to hide his smirk.  
  
"Who else?"  
  
White sat down behind his desk, clasping his hands in front of him. "Mr. Bond, she more than knew." He opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a folder.  
  
"I was hoping to have this conversation later, but since you are eager- everything you need to know is in there." He placed the folder on his desk.  
  
Bond walked towards White's desk and picked up the folder.  
  
"I have eyes and ears everywhere, Mr. Bond; this came from the highest authority."  
  
"Who?" He commanded.  
  
"That I cannot tell you, it would compromise their position. I'm sure you understand."  
  
Bond took a seat in one of the chairs in front of Whites desk and started to flick through the folder. Surprised at seeing copies of both his and Damien's birth certificates, noting he was three years younger than himself. He wondered what had happened that would cause his parents to give up his brother. He took in the aging picture of his five-year-old self, standing next to his father along with a much younger boy in his mother's arms.  
  
As he continued to stare at the picture, he remembered his parents arguing more than usual, and a loud screaming coming from one of the other rooms. Until one day the screaming had stopped and he never thought much of it.  
  
Next, he saw the adoption papers, signed by White with no other signature.  
  
"You said your wife and kids were killed." Bond looked up from the document. "I take it they had died before you adopted Damien?"  
  
"In a manner of speaking. My wife, Charlotte always wanted a boy, but she could no longer have children. We decided to adopt. We saw Damien, and Charlotte; well, she instantly took a shining to the boy. It saddens me that she never got the chance to see the man he has become."  
  
He leaned back in his chair. "That's the thing about adoptions Mr. Bond; they take time. Unfortunately, by the time we were allowed to adopt Damien, my family was killed."  
  
"Why did they attack you? Bond asked curiously.  
  
"I guess you could say my family was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Much like Miss Lynd."  
  
He looked away from White and back down at the folder spying a picture sticking out at the back. Pulling it out, he looked down at the picture in confusion seeing his father and a familiar smaller woman next to him who appeared to be in her late thirties. She was far younger that what she was now, but he recognised those familiar blue eyes and pixie hairstyle anywhere. What he wanted to know is what she was doing with his father. Turning it over, he noticed the date read the 14th April 1970.  
  
Looking back at Damien's birth certificate, he read Damien's date of birth, noting he was born nine months after the picture was taken.  
  
White saw the anger and confusion over Bond's face as he stared at the photo.

"I was just as shocked as you Mr. Bond. I asked for everything about you to be sent to myself after I found you in the car wreck. When I found the details about Damien in your file, I had a DNA test carried out on him. I took a sample of your blood for comparison. Just to ensure that the results matched up with the evidence I was sent. You should find a copy of the results in there." He motioned towards the folder.  
  
Bond found the document White stated and quickly scanned over the results.  
  
"You see. Damien is your brother, just not fully. His DNA matches your father, but not your mother thus making him your half brother."  
  
"So who is his real mother?"  
  
"I consulted my contact in London, and he ran a check on the unknown female DNA. Imagine my surprise when he contacted me with information that the results matched someone in the government."  
  
"Who?" Bond ordered having a feeling he already knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from White.  
  
"One Olivia Mansfield, better known as..."  
  
"M." Bond looked back down at the picture and crumpled it in his hand.  
  
"Does Damien know?"  
  
"Know that my mother is the Head of MI6?"  
  
Bond turned to face Damien, having not heard him return.  
  
"Yes, I know. And if you looked further in that file, you would see a note from dear M, asking our father and your mother to take care of me. But, it seems your dear mother couldn't stand to look at me knowing I wasn't her child."  
  
He looked back down at the photo; the arguments he recalled between his parents were starting to make sense. His father had cheated on his mother with M though he doubted she was M at the time.  
  
"You see Mr. Bond, she has not only taken the woman you loved from you, but she also kept the information she knew about your brother a secret." White leaned forward in his seat. "How many more people are you going to lose because of her?"  
  
Bond noticed the note that M had written and pulled it from the folder, before closing it and tossing it back on white's desk. He would read the contents later.  
  
"When do we start?"  
  
White gave him an encouraging smile. "I know you are keen Mr. Bond, believe me, I want revenge against her as much as you do. And I'm sure Damien feels the same. But, you know M has security everywhere, it will be hard to get her alone."  
  
It was Bond's turn to smirk. "Getting her alone won't be a problem. Do you have her home address?"  
  
White's smile widened. "I think that can be arranged. Very easily."

/*\\*/*\

 **London**  
  
Tanner drove back home after dropping off M. He couldn't help but worry about her after tonight. Tomorrow would no doubt be hard for her, and he was determined to help her through it. No matter how long it took them to find Bond. He hoped with the help from Q would help speed the process along. If anyone could find Bond, it would be Q. He seemed just as torn up about the news as the rest of them when he had informed him Bond disappeared off the radar.  
  
He admired M for managing to carry on with her job despite losing Bond though he didn't expect anything less from her. She wouldn't let anyone or a relationship interfere with her job; despite knowing she would have to send Bond out into the field. If their roles were reversed, and it was Eve in the field, he would probably go spare with worry, knowing her life was in his hands. It often made him wonder how M managed to carry on with this job as long as she had.  
  
Pulling the car outside his house, he switched off the engine and decided to sit for a few minutes, trying to collect his thoughts. He wondered what it was that Eve needed to tell him. M had asked him to hear her out, so she couldn't be ending their relationship. He needed her in his life and not just for her cooking.  
  
Deciding he won't get any answers sitting in his car, he got out, locked the car behind him, and made his way back into the house. Taking off his coat, he walked into the living room to see Eve sitting on the chair, nursing a cup of tea between her hands.  
  
"Was M okay, when you dropped her off?" She turned to look at him, as he sat on the couch.  
  
"Figuratively speaking, but you know how M can bottle up her emotions."  
  
Eve gave a nod absentmindedly in agreement, trying to think of the best way to bring up her career change. She knew he wouldn't be keen on the idea, especially with what happened with James.  
  
"Is everything all right?" He tried to hide his nervousness at the silence.  
  
Eve put down her cup and focused her attention on him.  
  
"That depends."  
  
"Depends on what?"  
  
"On how well you take the news, I'm about to tell you."  
  
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Tanner saw Eve trying not to smile at the insinuation.  
  
"No... I'm not pregnant." She saw him give a sigh of relief that caused her to raise an eyebrow.  
  
"Not that I wouldn't be happy if you were, but..."  
  
"I know Bill; you can relax and let me finish." She cut off his ramblings. "The reason I wanted to speak with you is because I have considered a new job."  
  
He stared at her in disbelief, "What? Where?"  
  
"It's still with MI6, just not a desk job." She braced herself for the rant she knew would no doubt come.  
  
"And what job were you thinking about?" He could feel his heart racing, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was.  
  
"A field agent."  
  
She watched as Bill stood and started to pace the floor, with his hands on his hips. "Please tell me you're joking? You want to go out in the field? Have you lost your mind? You know what happens to agents out there..."  
  
"I know fine well about the consequences Bill!" She quickly cut him off.  "I just don't want to be stuck behind a desk day in and out when I know I could be more useful out there."  
  
He stopped his pacing and stared down at her, "Out there? Eve, people die out in the field. James wasn't the first, and he won't be the last. And here you are, wanting to put your life at risk? What are you going to do when faced with armed men? Kill them with a pen?"  
  
"You think I can't handle it?" She challenged him.  
  
"No, I don't. Your place is at headquarters..."  
  
Eve gave a scoff and stood up herself, becoming frustrated. "That's right isn't it? I'm just some secretary that sits behind a desk on a daily basis, filling out reports and taking calls. I'm not a bloody china doll Bill. I know the risks!"  
  
"I take it you already informed M?" He tried to keep his anger under control.  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"So you tell M before you discuss it with me?"  
  
"I had to tell someone who would be reasonable enough to listen! And right now that isn't you! I knew you wouldn't be taken with the idea..."  
  
"You're damn right I'm not!"  
  
"But I thought you would, at least, be the tiny bit supportive of my decision. I guess M was wrong. She looked at him sadly. "You don't understand at all."  
  
She turned on her heel and left the room, hearing Bill call after her telling her to stop, but she continued walking until she reached their bedroom.  
  
"Eve, I have my reasons for not wanting you out in the field!" He stood in the doorway, watching as she pulled out some clothes from their wardrobe.  
  
She tossed clothes on the bed and turned to face him, feeling tears sting her eyes "And, I have my reasons for my decision! You obviously just don't want to hear them."  
  
"Eve, please... just stop for a second." He pleaded with her.  
  
Eve kept her head bowed, waiting for whatever it was he still had to say.  
  
"My anger for you not wanting you out in the field is not because I don't think you can handle it, but because I can't lose you," He told her softly.  
  
Eve looked up at him, seeing the fear in his eyes at his admission. She knew it would be hard for him, but he would get through it. He always did. It was one of the qualities she had admired about him. No matter how bad a situation got, he would still continue with his orders, even if he didn't agree with them.  
  
She came out of her thoughts when she felt him softly caressing her face, feeling herself relax at the soothing gesture, wondering what else he had yet to say on the matter as he gave her a sad smile.  
  
"You would be sent God knows where while I would be at headquarters day in and out wondering if this would be the mission that would take you from me."  
  
Eve reached up her hand and placed it on top of Bill's giving his hand a gentle squeeze in comfort. "I know, but I've made up my mind. I'm going to do this with or without your support, but I would rather you were by my side."  
  
"You said you had your reasons, what are they? Why do you want to put your life on the line?" He needed to understand why she wanted to do this. He thought she was happy with her current position, but it seemed he was wrong.  
  
"I need to do this to prove to myself there is more to me than just filing and typing reports. If we ever start a family, I want to be able to protect our children from the horrors of what we see on a daily basis."  
  
"Eve, you can't prevent that..."  
  
"No. I can't. But I can at least try, and I won't be much use if I sit behind a desk, with the odd agent flirting with me before and after a debriefing with M. It gets tiresome. Besides, MI6 could be doing with more women agents. I want to do this. It might not even happen. I would have to pass the training, but I want to try at least."  
  
"And, if you don't?"  
  
"Then I'll go back to my desk job. I've already informed M. It's only a matter of filling out the necessary paperwork to start the process."  
  
Tanner could see the determination in her eyes, if she wanted to do this, then he would let her, despite him wanting to tell her to forget the idea altogether.  
  
"Are you positive this is what you want, Eve?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Tanner gave a resigned nod. "All right, if you want to do this, you have my support. But it doesn't mean I'm fully keen on the idea."  
  
"As I say, I may not even pass the training."  
  
Tanner gave her a small smile. "You don't give yourself enough credit Eve. You're going to pass, and that's what frightens me." He pulled her into his arms, feeling Eve's arms wrap themselves around him, as she rested her head against his chest.  
  
"We'll come to the bridge when we cross it. All I want is your support for my decision."  
  
Tanner gave a sigh; seeing there was no way she was going to change her mind. "Then you have it. I won't stand in the way of your decision. Just promise me that when you pass the training and you are sent out into the field. Try to stay alive. That's all I ask."  
  
Eve lifted her head from his chest and gazed into his eyes. "I promise."  
  
Leaning up, she pressed a tender kiss on his lips, as he instinctively held her tighter against him, enjoying the feel of having her in his arms. He would enjoy these small moments while he could because once she was out in the field, they would be on borrowed time and moments like this would be few.  
  
"I love you, Eve; I trust you know that?" He whispered against her lips.  
  
"I know you do. Why don't we discuss this more tomorrow, and go to bed." She hinted suggestively.  
  
"Now, that decision I have no problem agreeing with." He placed another kiss on her lips. "But you're going to have to put those clothes back."  
  
"Well, to do that, you are going to have to let me go first," She stated.  
  
He gave a mock sigh and reluctantly released her. Taking a seat on their bed, he watched as she started to put the clothes she had pulled out, back on their hangers. He didn't think he would ever be okay with her decision, but they would take it a day at a time and go from there. If Bond and M managed to do it, then they could do the same.


	6. Chapter 6

**Siena - Italy**  
  
Bond pushed away his plate of half-eaten salmon, and fresh potatoes, too angry to eat at what he had just recently found out. He had worked with her day in and out, and yet she still didn't have the decency to tell him about the past that she had so conveniently kept from him.  
  
He wondered what she had written in the letter that was currently still in his trouser pocket. She was the last person he thought would run away from responsibility, having lectured about it often enough. Her reputation as Head of SIS would be ruined should anyone find out about her little tryst with his father. He had to admit; it would be deeply gratifying to see her lose everything. After all, she had taken everything from him; it was only fair he returned the favour.  
  
Reaching into his trouser pocket he pulled out the letter, his curiosity getting the better of him. As he unfolded the letter, the first thing he noticed was that there were only three paragraphs and her name at the bottom. He thought it would have at least been longer; after all, it was her son that she was handing over.

Pushing his anger aside, he read over the note and tried not to scoff at her excuses.  
  
_Andrew,_  
  
_I apologise for my abrupt departure after leaving Damien with you. But no doubt you will agree that our one night together was a mistake. After we had gone our separate ways, I informed you I was pregnant. You said you would help any way you could; well I need you to take care of our child. The reason I slept with you was merely out of spite due to a row I had with Robert. He came to apologize to me the next day, and I told him everything. Luckily, he understood, was supportive and helped me through those agonizing months._  
  
_After I had given birth, Robert proposed. A day later I was informed that I had been offered a job promotion in Hong Kong. It will be a new start for me as well as Robert, and with this new job, I won't have time to look after a child. That is why I'm leaving him with you. You're his father, and I trust you will treat Damien the same way as you treat your other son. It is best you do not tell him about me. Let him think your wife is his mother and hopefully, he won't question it when he is older._  
  
_I leave for Hong Kong in two days time; I ask for you not to contact me, as we have nothing more to say to each other. I wish you and your family the best of luck in the future._  
  
_Sincerely,_  
  
_Olivia._  
  
Bond scrunched up the letter in his hands; she was a heartless bitch. It seemed her career came first even back then. If she never got promoted would she have kept her child or still gave him up to start her fresh new life with Robert? The name itself caused anger and another feeling to stir inside him, and he had no idea why. No wonder, Damien was pissed, he would be too if he had found out his mother had left him just because of a job promotion.  
  
Getting up from his seat, he went to search for White wondering if he had spoken to his contact for her address. No sooner had he reached the door, that the man in question blocked his path.  
  
"Everything all right Mr. Bond?" White looked over his shoulder noting the food on Bond's plate was hardly touched.  
  
"No, everything is bloody well not all right! Did you get her address?"  
  
"I've spoken with my contact, and he will call me will back tomorrow. But right now you need to calm down and think with a clear head."  
  
Bond breathed heavily through his nose, trying to make himself calm, which was proving rather difficult as he still recalled the words in the letter.  
  
"Where's Damien?"  
  
"He needed some time alone," White told him walking past him as he took a seat at the table.  
  
"Now, if you have finished your meal, why don't we get down to business?"  
  
"What sort of business? I thought you wanted to bring down MI6 from the inside out. You just need to kill M to do that. End of."  
  
White smirked, "Yes, you are right there, but that's only the beginning."  
  
Bond walked over and sat back in his seat across from White. "Okay, enlighten me."  
  
"You see Mr. Bond. Our organisation is connected to the highest forms of government. We deal with the left and the right, dictators or liberators. We have members everywhere; they are embedded deep within Secret Intelligence services both in the western and eastern world; CIA, MI6, Mossad, KGB, just to name a few. However, due to a minor setback involving our favourite Head of MI6, most of our members have been compromised. I need her eliminated."  
  
"And then what?" Bond asked.  
  
"Myself and my contact can ensure one of our members is put in her place, which will grant us full access to every government secret MI6 has. Once we have those, we will sell them to the highest bidder. I'm sure many terrorist organisations would be more than happy to eliminate the threat of any undercover agent in their ranks." White told him calmly.  
  
Bond sat there thinking over what White had just told him. If any of those undercover agents were identified, it would end in disaster and would cause MI6 to crumble under the political onslaught.  
  
"Then why do you need me, other than to take care of M? It seems you have everything under control." Bond rested his arms on the table, wondering what else White wanted from him.  
  
"MI6 is only the start, Mr. Bond. We can have every Secret Intelligence organisation under our control, every countries government. The possibilities are endless."  
  
"Do you think these countries are going to hand over their parliamentary power to your organisation?"  
  
White leaned forward mirroring Bond's posture. "That's where you come in. You were the best double-0 MI6 had; all I need you to do is assassinate any political leader that stands in our way, who questions our methods. You moved in the shadows, Mr. Bond. Well, so do we. You will be given a fair share of course."  
  
"You are planning to put each of the countries against each other, for money?" Bond asked incredulously.  
  
"In a sense, most countries value natural resources such as water to survive. Should they run out, we will offer to provide it for them. At a reasonable price of course."  
  
"Do you think this plan of yours is going to work?"  
  
White gave a sigh. "Trial and error Mr. Bond, I do admit there will be minor setbacks, but I think we can easily overcome those... don't you?" He asked him knowingly.  
  
"But, it's entirely your decision, after you take care of M, you are free to go should you desire. Or you can stay and become a part of our new Empire. The choice is entirely up to you."  
  
Bond debated about the best course of action to take. The latter went against everything he had trained for, yet he had handed in his resignation. He was no longer an agent or under MI6's control. He could do as he pleased without thinking about the consequences or disobeying M's orders for once. It was starting to sound more appealing the more he thought about it. Then there was Vesper and his brother. She had died thanks to MI6 and M's orders, and she had left Damien with his parents without a second thought.  
  
The Eastern and Western worlds were already falling apart due to politics and wars, and White wanted to influence further those conflicts for money and more power.  
  
"You don't need to decide just yet Mr. Bond. Sleep on it, and you can let me know in the morning. Now, if you come with me, I'll show you to your room. No doubt you will need the rest."  
  
White stood up, with Bond following suit as he followed after White, who lead him back into the main room. He inwardly groaned at the thought of having to walk back through those yellow corridors.  
  
To his surprise, White turned to his left and led them down a cream painted hallway.  
  
Passing three wooden doors, they finally stopped at the fourth, which he assumed was going to be his room. As White opened the doors, Bond made his way inside, while White switched on the light.  
  
Looking around the room, he noticed the antique double bed in the center with an en suite bathroom off to the side. The walls were patterned in cream and gold paper, it wasn't the best wallpaper he had seen, but he couldn't deny it was better than sand yellow. He raised an eyebrow at the lack of windows, wondering why there was none throughout the compound.  
  
"I'm sure you will be comfortable here Mr. Bond. You will find spare clothes in the wardrobe and drawers. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."  
  
"There is one thing..." He turned his attention to White. "Why the lack of windows?"  
  
"It wouldn't be a secret organisation if I had people looking in on us." White smiled. "Besides, they're a bugger to clean."  
  
"Point taken." Bond agreed.  
  
"I'll let you get some sleep and let you think about my offer. I know you will make the right decision, in the end, Mr. Bond."  
  
Bond gave a nod of his head in acknowledgement as White left the room closing the door behind him. He gave a sigh not knowing what to decide, when he had left MI6 behind, he never thought he would be plotting to kill his ex-boss. He had planned to live his life with Vesper. Start a family. But that life was now gone.  
  
Then there was Damien. He didn't know his brother, and joining White's cause would give him the opportunity to get to know him on a more personal level rather an a series of short conversations whenever they were alone together. He was the only real family he had left. To just walk away he would be no better than M, and that was the last thing that he wanted. Perhaps, it was time for him to take a new career path.

/*\\*/*\

White left Bond's room and walked further down the hall, before coming to a stop outside Damien's room.  
  
Not bothering to knock, he Walked in and saw the man in question sitting at his desk cleaning his Walther P99. He was hardly surprised; Damien had always tried to keep himself busy when he was angry or if something was bothering him.  
  
"So, did you inform my dear brother of your plans?" Damien couldn't help but mock, as he checked the chamber and barrel to ensure the gun was fully unloaded.  
  
"Yes, and it seems he still hasn't fully calmed down, and I think M's letter only added fuel to the fire."  
  
Damien gave scoff. "And- did he agree to join your new Empire?" He started to strip the gun for cleaning, still not entirely keen the idea of having Bond in on their plans.  
  
"I told him to sleep on it and give me his answer tomorrow. But I think he will be more than willing." White never took his eyes off Damien, sensing there was something he wasn't telling him.  
  
"If you say so, how do we know his little procedure is permanent? He could find out the truth about what you've done to him. Then what will you do?" Damien turned to look at White. "He will go back to MI6 and tell them everything. That is- if he doesn't kill you first."  
  
White started to walk around the room, smile still on his face.  
  
"They may, but I trust the procedure will last long enough until he kills M. If his memories return after that, do you think he could live with himself knowing he had betrayed MI6?" White stopped and faced Damien. "Not to mention murdering the one woman who has defended him on more than one occasion?"  
  
Damien shook his head and turned back to cleaning his gun. White was so reliant on a procedure to accomplish his plan that he failed to see the larger picture.  
  
"He will be begging for me to kill him if MI6 don't get there first. This time, our plan won't fail Damien."  
  
"Either that or he could kill us both." Damien murmured.  
  
White's smile disappeared as he narrowed his eyes. "What aren't you telling me?"  
  
Damien rolled his eyes and put down the gun and cleaning materials, annoyed at being constantly disrupted.  
  
"This so procedure that you are sure has worked, is already starting to look as if it has failed." He turned back to look at White. "Out in the corridor, before you saw him, he had an episode."  
  
"What kind of episode?" White demanded.  
  
"He wanted to know information about me, and I told him I would tell him when I was ready. He agreed and said he would do it on my terms. Next thing, I know he is clutching his head in pain." Damien gave a sigh. "It was as if his words triggered a memory of an event that occurred before his procedure."  
  
White inwardly cursed, he couldn't afford for his plan to fall apart this early on. "It seems, Bond's memories are stronger than we realised."  
  
"What do you mean?" Damien asked curiously.  
  
"When we tried to carry out the procedure, it was proving difficult to erase his current memories. The only problem is, I don't know what these memories contain. It was only when we increased the drug dosage that it seemed to have worked."  
  
"If that were the case, you should just have killed him!" Damien stood up angry.  
  
"We need him complete the first part of our plan. If these episodes start to occur more frequently- then we can kill him. But until then I want you to keep an eye on him."  
  
"Why me? All of this was your idea!" Damien protested.  
  
"You're his brother. Think of it as an opportunity to get better acquainted."  
  
"All right for you to say, you're not the one that has to speak to him." Damien scowled at White defiantly.  
  
"I'm sure you'll manage."

/*\\*/*\  


**M's Penthouse - London**  
  
M walked out of the lift into the penthouse, expecting to see James Sitting on the couch, waiting for her, with a glass of her whiskey, gazing at her with that insufferable grin on his face.  
  
Ever since his disappearance, she kept hoping that he would be here when she returned from work.  But similar to the past few weeks, she was alone. The only sound was the clock ticking away on top of the mantle of the marble fireplace.  
  
Walking further into the room, she took off her bag and coat and placed them on the couch, before making her way to the drink cabinet and poured herself a double whiskey.  
  
It had become a ritual; go to work, return home, drink, eat, sleep, and repeat. She felt as if she were on autopilot day in and out, trying to find a way to go on living without the agent she had come to love.  
  
Drinking most of the whiskey in one swallow, she hoped it would numb the heartache that didn't seem to be ending. It hadn't seemed to work in the past four weeks. She doubted tonight would make much of a difference. It came down to one simple fact. She would be spending their anniversary alone.  
  
There was always the chance it would have been the same should she have sent him on a mission, but they had come to an agreement that they would celebrate their anniversary when he returned. As of now, that was no longer going to happen.  
  
She placed the glass on the cabinet and made her way towards the bedroom. As she entered, she saw the brown box she had left on the bed earlier that morning. She had intended to look through the box's contents before she had to head into headquarters, but time didn't allow it.  
  
Sitting on the bed, she picked it up and sat it on her lap as she flicked through the contents. James had called her sentimental for the keepsakes she had accumulated over the two years they were together. Nevertheless, she was glad that she did. There were just as important to her as James was.  
  
As she read over each of the letters and flicked through the photos, as she relived each moment and couldn't help but smile at each of the memories. When she got to the end, her smile disappeared, realising there was a photo missing. It was one of herself in a blue satin evening gown that James had taken before they had to attend a state dinner with the French Prime Minister.  
  
Placing the box on the bed, she opened the top drawer of the bedside cabinet and started to search through the drawer for the photo.  
  
As she reached further back, her hand came into contact with something small and hard. Curious, she pulled it out, feeling a lump in the back of her throat as she looked at the black velvet box in her hand.  
  
It wasn't hers. She had never seen it before, which left James.  
  
Leaving the photo for the time being, she focused her attention on the small box, debating with herself whether she should open it.  
  
Finally giving into temptation, she felt tears start to fill her eyes as she took in the silver three stone Tsarina ring. It was elegant and simple with a blue stone in the center, with two diamonds on either side. She wondered when James had the time to purchase it.  
  
Taking the ring carefully out of its box, she let out a small gasp at the inscription engraved on the inside of the band.  
  
_Always with you – J_  
  
Giving a sad smile, she felt her tears fall, as she clutched the small ring in her hand. The simple message brought her some comfort, but that wouldn't stop her trying to find out what happened to him. If anything, it made her even more determined.  
  
Drying her eyes, she glanced back down at the ring not wanting to put it back in the box, but it wouldn't feel right wearing it either. One because James hadn't officially asked her and two it would raise too many questions.  
  
Placing the box on the bed, she stood up and walked over to the vanity table and opened her jewellery box taking out a silver necklace. Undoing the clasp, she removed the pendant and replaced it with James' ring before fastening the chain around her neck.  
  
At least this way she could keep it with her at all times and hide it under her suits if need be. She had just wished he was here to give it to her himself. It made her wonder in sadness and curiosity what it was he had planned for their anniversary. Now, she will never know.

/*\\*/*\  


**Siena - Italy**  
  
Damien sat on his bed as he looked at the photo he had found in Bond's possession when they had captured him. He wondered why he would have a picture of his boss stashed in his suit pocket.  
  
As he took in her appearance, he did have to admit something was alluring about his mother, despite her age. The blue satin gown hugged her curves in all the right places and showed just enough cleavage to catch attention. It did spike his curiosity as to what Bond's actual relationship was with her.  
  
He recalled White's earlier words of Bond's memories being too strong, for the procedure the first time around, and it seemed he may have just found the reason why. If that was the case, then Bond's upcoming meeting with M could cause all his memories to return. It was something they couldn't afford to happen. They would have to come up with another way to ensure their plan was a success.  
  
Taking one last look at the photo, he placed it under his pillow. He would need to talk to White in the morning about his theory and make sure Bond, wasn't in hearing distance.  
  
Lying on his bed, he stared up at the ceiling, thinking about the impact M's death would have on Bond. That was if his memories returned after he had carried out the deed. What he did know was that when the time came, he would relish in seeing the great James Bond filled with regret and remorse knowing it was he, himself who was the sole reason his precious boss was dead.


	7. Chapter 7

Tanner lay in bed with Eve still asleep in his arms. He had slept on what they had discussed, and even though he still wasn't keen on the idea, he would support her any way he could. At least, she hadn't suggested being a Double-0, then they would have had problems.  
  
He reached out and gently caressed her face, smiling as she let out a small moan before her eyes opened.  
  
"Morning," He said with a smile causing her to let out a groan.  
  
"How can you be a morning person?" Eve whined trying to bury herself back into his chest.  
  
"How can you not? You've worked as M's secretary for over three years. You should be used to waking up at his time." He told her in amusement.  
  
"That doesn't mean I have to like it," she mumbled.  
  
Tanner gave a small chuckle. "I hate to break this to you, but if you want to be an agent you are going to have to work on getting out of bed."  
  
She quickly sat up and looked down at him, "What? Last night you were completely against the idea."  
  
"Yes, I was. But I did tell you I supported your decision." He looked up at her.  
  
"You did. But, I still expected some negativity from you." She told him truthfully.  
  
He didn't blame her for thinking that; he didn't exactly handle the news well when she had first told him. But, as he slept on everything, he realised he just wanted her to protect her and keep her safe.  
  
"I'm sorry about last night, Eve. I guess... I was just scared of what would happen to you."  
  
She gave him a loving smile, appreciated that he cared. "You don't have to be Bill. I can take care of myself."  
  
"I know, but that won't stop me worrying. Bond's disappearance was a catalyst in my choice of words. I just don't want the same thing happening to you."  
  
She lay back down next to him and snuggled in close, trying to offer him some comfort. "I'll have you keeping tabs on me and I'll follow M's orders to the latter. She seemed just as unsure about the idea as you were."  
  
"Did she?"  
  
"Yes. She said something along the lines of you were not the only one who cared and she considered me a close friend."  
  
"You're her secretary. Of course, she cares about you." He softly caressed her back. "She only has the two of us left, and Q," Tanner told her sadly.  
  
"I know, but Bond may still be alive. If he is, we'll find him." She tried to sound confident, but it didn't sound convincing even to her ears. Then there was M; she couldn't help but worry about the older woman.  
  
"What are we going to do about M, Bill? Their anniversary is today. I can only imagine what she must be going through."  
  
Tanner held Eve closer to him and pressed a kiss into her hair, feeling the same way.  
  
"We'll do what we said we would do. I'll contact Q and ask him to come into headquarters. It will be good for M for the both of them to catch up. He has known Bond as long as she has, Eve. He may be able to help her, and not in just finding him."  
  
"I hope you're right," she said to him softly.  
  
He hoped he was too, If Q couldn't get a pinpoint on Bond's location, then no one could.

/*\\*/*\

  
**M's Penthouse, London**  
  
M roused from a light sleep to feel someone softly caressing the side of her face. Leaning into the soft touch, she heard a familiar voice gently call out to her telling her to open her eyes.  
  
Obeying the simple command, she opened her eyes to see the blurry figure of a man sitting on her bed. As her eyes finally adjusted, she felt her heart beating in her chest as she finally recognised who it was.  
  
She stared at him in disbelief as he looked down at her with a loving smile. Sitting up, she stared at him before reaching out a shaky hand to his face, feeling his warm skin under her fingertips.  
  
"You're real," she whispered, feeling the tears in her eyes, as he kissed the inside of her wrist.  
  
"I told you... I will always come back to you, Olivia. And I always keep my promises."  
  
Her tears were flowing freely down her eyes, but she didn't care. He was here. That's all that mattered.  
  
"I thought you were dead, James."  
  
She felt his arms wrap themselves around her as he pulled her to his chest. It was all it took as she softly cried into his shoulder.  
  
"Sh, I'm right here." He softly told her, pressing a kiss to her temple.  
  
After a few moments, she pulled back slightly and gave him a watery smile. "Just... don't put me through that again."  
  
"I promise." He leant in and pressed a tender kiss on her lips.  
  
It had been too long. She had missed this, missed him. Letting her eyes close, she got lost in the sensation of his lips and body pressed against hers as she eagerly returned his kiss. Him being back with her gave her the love and comfort that she thought she would never experience again.  
  
Just as the kiss started to gain passion, James pulled away causing M to moan at the loss, wondering why he had stopped.  
  
Opening her eyes, she looked around startled at seeing herself standing in an unfamiliar room, with James nowhere in sight.  
  
"James?"  
  
She looked around for any sign of him.  
  
"James", she called out again, but there was still no reply.  
  
M felt panic and fear build up inside her. She couldn't lose him. Not again. Not when he had just returned home to her. He promised.  
  
"You killed him!"  
  
M whirled around looking for the source of the unknown voice, seeing no one there.  
  
"Another agent dead because of you!" A second voice hissed.  
  
"How many more have to die!?"  
  
The onslaught of disembodied voices caused M to fall to her knees as the voices multiplied and got louder. Covering her ears with her hands, she tried to block out the sound, wanting nothing more than to have James' arms back around her.  
  
She closed her eyes, as the voices started to close in, continuing to taunt her, before they suddenly stopped.  
  
Breathing heavily, she opened her eyes to see Tanner standing in front of her.  
  
"Tanner..." She said in relief, only for it to be replaced with fear as she saw the anger and hatred in his eyes.  
  
"She's dead M! Your orders killed her!"  
  
"What? They didn't. Eve- she's still alive." M tried to reason with him.  
  
"You took her from me! For that, you don't deserve to live!" He sneered looking down at her.  
  
It was then that M saw the gun in his hand.  
  
"Tanner... please... don't do this." She pleaded with him, as she looked around for anything to defend herself.  
  
He pulled back the safety and aimed the gun at her heart.  
  
"Goodbye, M."  
  
Her eyes widened as he pulled the trigger.

/*\\*/*\

  
M woke with a start, feeling her heart beating erratically in her chest as she took in her surroundings. It was then she realised she was still in her bedroom and her bed that she could feel herself start to relax. She could still picture Tanner's look of hatred and disgust as he had pulled the guns trigger without a second thought.  
  
Everything in the dream had seemed so real, from James' gentle touch to the disembodied voices and Tanner's hatred towards her.

But then again, she guessed the dream wasn't far from the truth. She had still lost James and was still accountable for many agents deaths, all thanks to her orders. The voices were right, how many more agent's had to die because of her?  
  
Then there was Eve. If she passed her training, she didn't know if she could send her out into the field. It would only be a matter of time before she met the same fate. Over the years they had worked together, she had grown fond of the younger woman. She was the best secretary she had, and also a dear friend. To lose her as well, she didn't think she would be able to look Tanner in the eye again.  
  
Turning to look at the clock on her bedside cabinet, she saw that the red digits displayed 7:15 am. She had slept through her alarm, and now she was currently running late. For once she didn't care if she was, work was the last place where she wanted to be.  
  
Reaching into her pyjama top, she pulled out James' ring that was still on her necklace. She traced the silver band with her fingers, as she got lost in her thoughts on how she was going to get through today. She could still feel James' arms around her, wanting nothing more than for him to be next to her; offering her comfort and telling her everything was going to be all right. But that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. Not while she lay in bed feeling sorry for herself.  
  
Letting go of the ring, she sat up and looked over at the picture of James on her bedside cabinet. Reaching out, she picked it up and brought over to her as she looked down at the photo. Anniversary or not, he would tell her she needed to focus on her job, and that was what she was determined to do. Even though he wasn't here, he was still giving her the strength she needed to go on. She remembered his inscription on the ring and gave a sad smile at how true his words were.  
  
"Happy Anniversary, James." She murmured to the photo, before placing it back on the bedside cabinet.  
  
Getting out of bed, she pushed the nightmare to the back of her mind as she started to get ready for the day ahead.

/*\\*/*\

  
**Siena, Italy**  
  
Damien walked through the compound in search for White, hoping he didn't run into Bond along the way. He was just about to turn the corridor that would take him to White's office when he heard a set of footsteps behind him.  
  
Turning around, he saw the man in question approach him, dressed in one of his usual grey suits.  
  
"We need to talk." Damien told White with some urgency when the older man had stopped in front of him.  
  
White watched as Damien looked around the corridor as if he was waiting for someone to appear. He didn't have time to listen to Damien's paranoia about Mr Bond, but the younger man probably wouldn't let it go until he did.  
  
"Very well, we'll go to my study. But this had better be important." White started to walk in the direction of his office, not waiting to see if Damien was following.  
  
"Oh, I think you will find it is." He murmured under his breath as he followed after White.  
  
Entering White's study, Damien closed the door and turned to see White taking a seat behind his desk.  
  
"So, what is this important piece of information that you need to tell me?" White asked giving Damien a calculating look, as he watched the younger man reach into his trouser pocket and pulling out a photo.  
  
"This." He held up the photo before walking over and placing it on White's desk.  
  
White picked up the picture and looked at it.

"Where did you get this?" He demanded as he looked back over at Damien.  
  
"I found it in Bond's possession when we captured him."  
  
"You've had it all this time? And you didn't think to inform me?"  
  
"I'm informing you now." Damien replied. "But it did get me thinking about a few things," he said taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of White's desk.  
  
"Such as?" White narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Let's start with the obvious shall we? Why would my dear brother have a picture of my mother in his possession?"  
  
White sat back in his chair, thinking over Damien's question. It certainly made him curious as to what Mr Bond's relationship was with, M. From the photo it seemed to go beyond that of boss and agent. Either that or Mr Bond had developed stalker tendencies.  
  
"And there is something else; I think you may find interesting." Damien stated. "You said you had problems with the procedure?"  
  
"Where are you going with this, Damien?"  
  
"Well... what if it was his memories of M, that was causing him to resist?"  
  
"That's an illogical conclusion..."  
  
"How else do you explain it!? If it was due to M... what makes you think sending him to kill her won't trigger his real memories? If that happens, we're finished."  
  
White, knew Damien had a point, but they had nothing more to go on other than a photo. Though he did have to admit, she was a desirable woman. If they were in a relationship, he could understand why Mr Bond had fallen for her.  
  
"What do you suggest I do?" White inquired.  
  
"Send someone with him, or at least, consider it..."  
  
"No! If what you say is true, he could turn on us before he has even carried out the task. We send him alone."  
  
Damien clenched his hands into fists; frustrated that White wasn't listening to him.  
  
"Are you forgetting about his episode yesterday? Her name wasn't even mentioned, yet a simple set of words caused him to react! Imagine what he would be like in the same room as her!"  
  
White thought over the situation, there was a risk he could remember, but it was highly unlikely he would understand what was happening. As long as he killed her, that was all that mattered. They could deal with any other problems later.  
  
"My original plan still stands. Trust me. Even if he remembers, do you think he will be able to comprehend what is happening to him?"  
  
White gave a smile when Damien didn't have an answer for him. Instead, he decided to get along with business.  
  
"Now that this matter has been dealt with, I need you go and fetch me, Mr Bond. There is something I need to discuss with him."  
  
Damien angrily stood up and marched towards the door. He needed to get out of here before he did something he would later regret. He was just about to open the door, when he turned back around to face White.  
  
"You're making a big mistake. I hope you know that."

Without waiting for a reply, he left the room and slammed the door behind him.  
  
Once he had left, White looked back down at the photo before placing it in his desk drawer for safekeeping. Damien was probably worrying over nothing, but that wouldn't stop him from keeping a closer eye on, James Bond.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have altered the age of Desmond Llewelyn's Q to fit with this fic, as I love his Q. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Eve and Tanner arrived at headquarters just after nine expecting to see M come out of her office at their arrival. When there was no sign of her, Tanner knocked on her office door. Hearing no answer, he opened the door only to stop in his tracks when he saw M nowhere in sight.

"That's strange." Tanner murmured as he turned to look at Eve, who was standing behind him.

"Maybe she has decided to take the day off?" Eve suggested, looking at Tanner In worry.

"Perhaps, but she would have called if she was, Eve."

She merely gave a nod knowing he was right. She couldn't remember the last time M had missed a day of work, except when she had a severe case of the flu.

"Do you think we should call her?"

"We'll give her another hour, given the circumstances let's not worry too much."

"I hope she is all right." Eve walked over to her desk to organise some files, in the hopes to take her mind off M.

"M's strong Eve, she'll be fine," Tanner reassured her.

"I just worry. She keeps everything bottled up and doesn't tell us anything." Eve slammed the two files she had in her hand on the desk in frustration.

Tanner could understand where Eve was coming from, but they had known M long enough to know she was a private person.

"If anything is wrong, M will tell us when she is ready. We are probably worrying over nothing."

/*\\*/*\

M looked at the time realising she was running later than she had originally thought. She was in the middle of getting dressed when the doorbell rang. If Ross were curious as to why she was running late, he didn't say anything. Other than he would wait in the car until she was ready to leave.

It was another thirty minutes later before she got into the car to take her to headquarters. She had never been late in her life, except when she had appointments with the prime minister or government officials. First time for everything, she thought bitterly to herself.

As they were nearing headquarters, M's mind drifted towards Moneypenny, wondering how her talk went with Tanner last night. She hadn't received a phone call, so she assumed he took it better than what Eve initially thought. Either that or the man was still trying to come to terms with Eve's choice.

She couldn't help but wonder how this chat would go with the two of them. As long as they didn't start a domestic in her office, she wasn't in the mood to play referee. Then there was the matter of finding a replacement for Eve should she pass the training. The thought of having to bring someone new in wasn't appealing to her in the slightest. Moneypenny was the best secretary she had since Villiers left to undertake an Intelligence Analyst position with MI5. She hadn't heard from the man since. Then again, she hadn't exactly made the effort herself.

Although she hadn't had a close working relationship with him like she did with Tanner and Moneypenny, she was still fond of the younger man. Even, if he did call her at inappropriate times to tell her about Bond's movements. She felt the same sadness wash over her, as she realised how simpler everything was back then. It had only been four years. Yet, it seemed like a lifetime ago.

The sound of the car door opening caused her to come out of her thoughts, realising they had arrived. As she got out the car, she gave her thanks to Ross and made her way inside heading in the direction towards her office.

As soon as M entered the hallway that would lead to her office, she stopped in her tracks at seeing Tanner and Eve's worried faces staring back at her.

"Everything all right?" She decided to at least break the tension that lingered in the atmosphere.

"We were going to ask you the same thing, Ma'am." Tanner cautiously asked her.

"I'm fine Tanner." She quickly answered keeping her attention on Eve. "I take it; you have told Tanner of your new career change?"

"I have Ma'am. We have come to an agreement of sorts."

"Good, then we can discuss it in more detail in my office." M passed Tanner and into her office.

"Ma'am." Eve stood up and followed after her giving Tanner a confused look.

Tanner narrowed his eyes, knowing there was something wrong with his boss. He saw the wariness in her eyes when she had looked at him before she looked away.

Tanner wondered what had happened in the short amount of time since he had dropped her off last night. He would need to think more about it later after this little discussion.

Closing the door to M's office behind him, he took a seat in the free seat next to Eve in front of M's desk.

The two of them watched as M moved about her office like her old self. It caused Eve to become more worried about her. She seemed to be handling everything well considering it was her and James' anniversary.

She didn't know what to have expected. She knew M was the last person to break down in front of her subordinates, but she expected to see some emotion at least.

"Let's get down to business shall we?" She sat down and looked at Eve.

"I trust you are aware of the responsibilities that are involved in this job Moneypenny."

"I do Ma'am. I know the rules and risks of the game. We wouldn't be here if we didn't."

M gave her small nod of her head in acknowledgement, before looking over at Tanner.

"And what are your thoughts on the matter?"

"I'm not going to lie. I'm not fond of the idea, but if it's something she wants to do... I won't stand In the way of her decision."

"That also applies to myself as well Tanner. I need to know you won't Interfere with my orders or let your emotions cloud your judgement."

"I can manage, Ma'am."

M looked away from him and focused her attention back on Eve. "Since that's the basics out-of-the-way, all that's left to do is for me to sign the documentation. You will be put through a physical, and the necessary training. If you pass, you will be given a six-month trial period. If after those six months I think you are capable then you will be given full agent status."

"I understand Ma'am."

"It usually takes a few weeks to process the documentation, but I think we can hurry the process along. That is- if you are willing of course?"

Eve looked at Tanner, who gave her subtle nod and a small smile in encouragement.

"That's fine Ma'am. What about my replacement?"

"Let me worry about that Moneypenny. You just focus on passing your training."

"Ma'am..."

"Yes, Tanner?"

"There is still the matter of contacting Q."

M inwardly gave a sigh. "I'll let you handle that Tanner. I only ask you do not give too much away. We don't need prying ears listening in."

"Of course Ma'am. I'll get right on it."

"Thank you, Tanner."

Eve noticed the way M was trying to avoid looking at Tanner. Once she was sure he had left the office, Eve decided to ask how she really was.

"Out with it Moneypenny. What is troubling you?"

"How are you, Ma'am? Really."

"I'm fine Moneypenny, all things considered."

Eve can hear the weariness in her voice, but decided to press on. "It's just you seemed a bit off with Bill. Did something happen last night?"

"No," she partly lied. "I'm just trying not to dwell on today's event."

"And what about your behaviour with Bill?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about Moneypenny." M denied.

She wasn't going to tell the younger woman that it was due to a nightmare. She would think she were crazy.

"You avoided eye contact with him out in the hallway. You can tell me M; I only want to help you."

"I don't need any help, Moneypenny! I'm more than capable of looking after myself!"

"I don't doubt that, but sometimes it best to talk to someone about it. James told Tanner to watch out for you should he not make it back."

M stood up in anger not needing reminding it was she who was part of the reason James wasn't here with her.

"And we both know why he isn't here, don't we Moneypenny? For once he followed my orders and look what bloody happened! He always told me to trust his instincts, but for once it was me that didn't listen!"

Eve sat there stunned not knowing what to say, but she knew It wasn't M's fault for what happened to James. She gave the orders, but how James carried them out fell back on him.

"You weren't to blame for this, M." Eve softly tried to reason with her.

"Aren't I?" She moved from behind her desk and walked over to her office window and gazed out into the horizon.

"I have the life of every agent in my hands; a simple order determines whether they will live or die to ensure ordinary people out there don't have to worry about threats or attacks." She turned round to face Eve. "They can go living their lives as normal, while I have to continue living my life debating, whether If I had handled a situation differently, would that agent still be alive?"

Eve wondered how long M had these thoughts and if she had ever shared them with anyone before now. "With all due respect Ma'am, they knew what they were signing up for before you even sent them out in the field. It was their choice to choose this job. You didn't make them! Yes, you decide who gets assigned what missions and you give the orders. But you can't control their actions. The same way you couldn't control James' no matter how much you tried." Eve reasoned.

"It still falls back to me, Moneypenny! It doesn't matter which way you look at it! The truth of the matter is, I am part of the reason we have lost so many agents! And it will only be a matter of time before you are added to the list!" M told her in frustration and anger.

"What makes you so sure? "

"Because that's always what happens in the end! You will get those lucky few who will live to see their retirement. The others you will be lucky if they see forty. I then have to inform their next of kin explaining why a mother no longer has a son, or why a wife no longer has a husband!"

Eve sat there staring at M, as the pieces started to fall into place.

"And Bill?"

"I think you can work that one out on your own Moneypenny." M told her resigned. "If anything happened to you ... do you honestly think Tanner would ever forgive me, knowing I played a part in your death. "

"Tanner would never blame you, M. He would blame himself first and foremost before even thinking about accusing you." Eve told her truthfully. "But, I know what I am getting in for before I even step outside this building. If I die, it would be my fault. And I wouldn't want you or Bill both blaming yourselves for something you both had no control over. And James would probably tell you the same thing."

Eve continued to keep her attention on M waiting for her to say something, as the older woman thought over her words.

"I'll tell you what I told Tanner last night. You may not even see me out in the field. I may not even get past the physical let alone the training, which could take a few months at least."

"Perhaps, but we both know that won't be the case, Eve," her voice softened. "And I'm sure Tanner knows it as well."

When Eve didn't answer her, M knew she had been right in her assumption. Tanner may not be fond of the idea, but even he saw the potential she had that would make her an excellent agent.

"You're the best secretary I've had Eve, and I mean that. Part of me wishes you would fail only to save me the hassle of finding a replacement."

Eve tried not to smile at M's words knowing the woman was not one to openly give praise.

"No, matter what happens in the future Eve, remember this. Always trust your instincts."

"I will Ma'am."

"Good, now if that's everything we had best see how Tanner is getting on with contacting Q."

/*\\*/*\

Tanner closed the door behind him as he walked over to Eve's desk, picked up the phone and dialled Q's number. As he waited for someone to answer, he thought over M's behaviour towards him. She could barely look at him for more than a few seconds and couldn't help but wonder if he had done something wrong. He couldn't recall anything which made him that more curious as to what was causing M to react the way she was. Perhaps Eve would manage to find out the reason for M's behaviour.

He came out of his thoughts when he heard Q's voice through the receiver. Tanner tried not to smile at hearing the annoyance in his voice.

"It's nice to hear from you too, Q."

_'Sorry Mr Tanner, I thought it was my great nephew calling with more questions about a new computer programme he is developing.'_

Tanner raised an eyebrow at hearing that piece of information.

"Sounds like he is taking after you."

_'Unfortunately. What can I do for you?'_

"We need your help with a delicate matter."

_'You do know I have retired.'_

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But I told M you may be able to help."

 _'Is M all right?'_ Q asked worried.

"As fine as you can be after losing one of her best agents."

_'I'm sorry about 007, he may have been a pain, but he meant a lot to M. What do you need?'_

"M wants to find him, and we thought..."

_'I would help with the search?'_

"Yes." Tanner agreed.

_'He may not even be alive. It's been a month.'_

"I'm aware of that Q, but I think it will give M some peace of mind. She hasn't given up on him yet. I'm sure you of all people know Bond has survived worse."

_'How is M, really Mr Tanner?'_

"Not great. I can't say much over the phone, but she is trying to hide it as much as she can. But you can see it in her eyes; she is heartbroken. I've never seen her like this. Perhaps, you could speak to her. You worked with M the longest. She will probably open up to you more than Moneypenny or me." Tanner told him keeping his voice low.

_'All right, I'll help any way I can, but I can't promise the search will find 007, but for M's sake, we can give it a try.'_

"Thank you Q. I'll have Ross pick you up in two hours."

_'Very well. I may need another person to help me in the search. I'm not as young as I used to be.'_

"Who did you have in mind?" Tanner asked.

_'If there is someone who I would trust with this its Quinton. I'm sure the boy would be glad for the experience.'_

"I take it; he's your great nephew?"

_'One in the same, Mr Tanner.'_

He would need to run it by M, but it shouldn't be a problem.

"He will need to sign a secrets act..."

_'Yes, I'm well aware of protocol.'_

He turned to M's office when he heard the door open to see Eve walk out, giving him a small smile, which he returned.

"Very well, I'll have the documentation ready for when you both arrive. Thank you again for this Q."

_'Don't mention it. Tell M; I'll see her soon.'_

"I will do."

When the older man hung up, he placed the phone back on Eve's desk.

"Well, what did he say?" Eve asked walking behind her desk and took a seat.

"He is willing to help."

"That's good." Eve told him in relief.

"What's good?"

Tanner and Eve turned to see M standing in the doorway of her office waiting for one of them to answer.

"Q has agreed to help Ma'am. I told him we would send Ross to pick him up in two hours. Along with his great nephew." Tanner informed her waiting for the outburst that would no doubt come.

"I'm not having a civilian involved in this Tanner!"

"Q, will undoubtedly keep an eye on him Ma'am, and to be truthful we need all the help we can get." Tanner tried to reason. "From the way Q mentioned him, he came across as a younger version of himself."

M narrowed her eyes knowing Tanner was right. They may find James quicker if Q had someone to help him and she would trust Q, to keep a close enough eye on his great nephew.

"If that's what it takes, I want you to have the necessary documentation ready for his great nephew to sign before he even sets foot in Q Division."

"Of course Ma'am. " Tanner agreed, watching as she walked back into her office and closed the door behind her.

Tanner turned back to Eve, who had started to type away on her keyboard.

"What happened in there?"

"We were just discussing some things, Tanner. She thinks you will blame her should anything happen to me out in the field." Eve kept her voice low.

"Why would she think that?"

"Why do you think? She blames herself for the deaths of all those agents we've lost."

"That wasn't her fault..."

"I told her that, Bill. But I don't think I got through to her. She is not telling me the full story. I know that much." Eve finally stopped what she was doing and looked up at him.

"Something else happened, I'm sure of it. Maybe she will open up to Q more. We can discuss this in more detail later, but for now, we had best get to work." Eve told him.

Tanner merely nodded and looked over at M's closed door to her office, wondering what it was that happened to her last night for her to act the way she was. He hoped Eve was right, and she would open up to Q. He wondered if she had told Bond of her feelings and how she blamed herself for every death they had to endure.

Looking away from her office, he said his goodbye's to Eve and made his way to inform Ross that he had to pick up Q in two hours. He trusted Eve to keep a close eye on M. If she was not going to open up to them, then they would watch her from a distance and wait until she decided to come to them.


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

**Siena, Italy**  
  
Bond approached White's office, needing to speak with the older man on an urgent matter. He was ready to knock on the door, only to stop when he heard him speaking to someone. He pressed his ear against the door, trying to hear the conversation that was currently taking place, wondering who it was exactly White was talking to.  
  
_"It was a success. The plan is going as we had anticipated. Mr Bond just needs to take care of the business with M, then we can make a start on stage two."_  
  
He assumed stage two was what White had told him yesterday;  replacing M with a member of Quantum.  
  
_"No. I was told about a few minor incidents from Damien, but it is nothing to concern ourselves with; he will be of use to us. We have one of MI6's best agents against them. They don't stand a chance."_  
  
He stood there confused as to what the incidents were. The only thing he could think of was a headache he had in the corridor, but he didn't know why it would be a concern. Unless there was more to it than what White or Damien had told him. Then again, it could be something entirely different.  
  
_"Our plan will not fail. I admit the mishap we had with Greene in Bolivia was a temporary setback. But times have changed; this will be a dawning of a new era. We will be the ones in control soon enough."_  
  
Bond narrowed his eyes at the mention of the situation with Greene in Bolivia. The name itself seemed familiar. Yet, he couldn't quite place where he had heard it. He would think more about it later, as he heard White raise his voice clearly losing patience with whoever it was he was speaking to.  
  
_"I would have been made aware of this! When did it happen?"_  
  
He wondered if White would inform him and Damien about this unknown even that seemed to have him on edge.  
  
_"Leave it to me and I'll take care of it."_  
  
Bond's eyes narrowed as he became more confused as to what had happened. He was missing something important, but he didn't know what it was. Whatever the situation currently was, White didn't seem too thrilled.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Bond quickly turned to see Damien's scrutinising gaze staring back at him.  
  
"Just waiting for White to finish his conversation."  
  
Bond didn't miss the look of distrust flash across his face, as he watched Damien knock on the door. After a few seconds, they heard White telling them to enter.  
  
"After you, Bond."  
  
Ignoring Damien's cold stare, he entered White's office to see the man standing in front of his desk, a look of annoyance still on his face from his phone call.  
  
"Take a seat, Mr Bond. We have some pressing matters to deal with." He looked over at Damien. "You need to hear this as well."  
  
Damien closed the door behind him and took one of the seats that were furthest away from Bond, not wanting to sit too close to his brother.  
  
"What is this all about?" Damien asked hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible. He was still pissed that White had disregarded what he had told him about Bond's memories. If it ended badly, the man had no one to blame but himself.  
  
"It seems one of our undercover agents in the CIA is getting cold feet about our plan and is threatening to tell the Director of the CIA everything he knows. If any of our plans are passed onto National Intelligence, It would ruin us before we have even had a chance to fully put what we have worked hard for into motion." White took a seat behind his desk.  
  
"So, what are you going to do about it?" Damien asked keeping his attention on White.  
  
"I'm sending you and Mr Bond here to deal with it."  
  
"You can't be bloody serious!?" Damien stood up. "If you want it taken care of, then I'm more than capable of doing it myself!"  
  
White merely gave Damien an unimpressed look at his outburst.  
  
"This is more than a one-person job, Damien, so I suggest you sit down and let me finish with what I have to say!"  
  
Bond looked between the both of them, watching as Damien resentfully retook his seat.  
  
"Good, now if you have finished with the temper tantrum perhaps we can discuss this like fully grown adults!"  
  
When Damien never said anything else, White continued. "If we want to keep our motives and plan a secret, we first need to get rid of the agent as well as the Director of the CIA. My contact has informed me that the agent in question hasn't disclosed any information as of yet, but it's only a matter of time before he does. In this instance, we kill two birds with one stone."  
  
"So, you want us to assassinate the Director of the CIA?" Bond asked making sure he had heard right.  
  
"That's correct Mr Bond, and anyone else who crosses your path."  
  
Damien gave a scoff. "Why don't we just assassinate the President as well while we're at it?"  
  
White gave Damien a disapproving look. "There will be plenty of time for that! But this matter is more important."  
  
Bond not wanting to get caught up in another argument pressed matters along. "The Director will no doubt have a large security detail following him, how are we supposed to enter the CIA undetected. We can't exactly walk through the front door."  
  
"You worked in the shadows Mr Bond, I'm sure you will find a way. But this may be able to help the both of you." White reached into the desk of his drawer and pulled out a file.  
  
"Everything you need to know about the layout of the CIA, and the Director himself is all in there." He handed the file over to Bond, who flicked through the contents.  
  
"Even with this information, it won't be easy. I'm sure Damien will agree." Bond added, never taking his eyes off the file.  
  
"For once I actually do agree with him. It's suicide. Besides I thought you wanted Bond to take care of his precious boss."  
  
"And he will. I already have her address."  
  
Bond looked up from the file and over to White at hearing that small piece of information.  
  
"If you carry out this task for me Mr Bond, her address is all yours. Do we have a deal?" White patiently waited for his answer.  
  
He looked back down at the file as a strange feeling washed over him. There was a part of his mind screaming out at him, telling him that this was all wrong, but as he thought about Vesper's last moments the feeling disappeared. He needed revenge on M for Vesper's death, and if this was the only means to get her address then so be it.  
  
"You are aware once they discover the bodies it's only a matter of time before they eventually catch on?" Bond stated closing the file.  
  
"Yes, I'm fully aware of that Mr Bond. But you were the best MI6 had, I'm sure you will be able to ensure no evidence will lead back to us."  
  
Bond looked over at Damien seeing the resigned look on his face. As if feeling his eyes on him, Damien caught Bond's eye and gave a small nod of his head.  
  
It was all the confirmation Bond needed and looked back at White. "When do we leave?"  
  
White gave him a full-blown smile at his answer. "As soon as possible. Damien will get you organised with weapons and everything you need. With luck, this whole matter should be dealt with by tomorrow night."  
  
"And after this, you will give me M's address?"  
  
"It's a deal, Mr Bond. I'm a man of my word."  
  
Bond searched White's face for any sign of deceit, but only saw the truth in his eyes.  
  
"Very well. Consider the matter taken care of." Bond said returning his smile.  
  
"Excellent." White clapped his hands. "Then I'll let you both go and get prepared. I'll see you both before you leave."  
  
Damien scowled and stood up with Bond following after him as they made to leave the room.  
  
"Oh, and one more thing," White called out causing the two of them to turn and look back at him. "Come back alive." White gave them a knowing look.  
  
Damien rolled his eyes at the comment, while Bond didn't say anything. He had a feeling someone else used to say that to him on occasion. The familiar thump in his head returned causing him to regulate his breathing to try and dull out the pain. It seemed to be working until he heard the same distant female voice from yesterday fill his head. The more he focused on the voice the more pain it seemed to cause him.  
  
_"You don't like my methods… Your instincts are dead wrong… I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur…"_  
  
Closing his eyes, he gritted his teeth trying to block out the unknown voice, but it seemed like the damage was done as a voice that sounded like his own seemed to join the females.  
  
_"Point taken…"_  
  
_"Don't make it personal…"_   The female voice replied.

"Bond! Answer me!"  
  
As White's voice called out to him; the female's voice to slowly fade with a faint echo of; "c _ome back alive"_ before it disappeared completely. _  
_

When he opened his eyes, Bond saw the worried face of White staring back at him.  
  
"What happened?" White asked urgently.  
  
"Another headache." Bond told him as the dull thump slowly started to ease. "Nothing to worry about. I'm fine."  
  
White narrowed his eyes knowing there was more to it than what Bond was telling him. Perhaps Damien's suspicions earlier were indeed correct. He had no time to question Bond further. He needed to take care of matters with the CIA first.  
  
"If you are sure. I'll leave you to get prepared."  
  
Bond gave a nod and quickly left, missing the ' _told you so look'_ , Damien, shot at White.  
  
"Now do you bloody believe me?" He hissed before turning to walk away.  
  
He had just taken a few steps when White reached out his hand and grabbed Damien's arm holding him in place. "Keep an eye on his every move, Damien. Don't let him out of your sight for a second, unless it's absolutely necessary."  
  
"Don't worry… I'll be making sure of it." He pulled his arm out of White's grasp and followed after Bond.  
  
White watched the two men disappear down the corridor. Walking back behind his desk, he took out the photo of M that Damien had found in Bond's possession, finally believing that there was indeed more to Bond and M's relationship than meets the eye. Between the photo and the headaches, White couldn't deny they were linked. Until he knew more, there was nothing he could do. As of now, Bond was a walking time bomb. It was only a matter of time before his real memories returned. And when or if that time came, it would be game over.

 


End file.
